


In the mind of Eli Ayase, delinquent

by VNVdarkangel



Series: Delinquent Eli AU [2]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkward Romance, Delinquent Eli, F/F, Fist Fights, Fluff, Graphic Description, Kissing, Mentions of alcohol, Redemption, Sexual Undertones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22972435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VNVdarkangel/pseuds/VNVdarkangel
Summary: A collection of scenes seen from a more Eli-centric POV. Connects to "Lovers at first fight"
Relationships: Ayase Eli/Toujou Nozomi
Series: Delinquent Eli AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101062
Comments: 25
Kudos: 60





	1. The fuzzy slipper incident

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love at first fight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940837) by [WashiWashiMonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WashiWashiMonster/pseuds/WashiWashiMonster). 



> After reading chapters from "Love at first fight" I started to wonder, 'What is Eli thinking here?' And as the story is very Nozomi centric I reached out to the author and asked if it would be ok to agree. Thankfully there was agreement. :)
> 
> I won't go into every scene and chapter in the source work, I'll instead focus on those I find most interesting. I hope you find some enjoyment too. And do read the original work, chapters are still coming (as of this writing) and the story continues to be interesting to follow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nozomi knows just how to rile Eli up

Yesterday had been a disaster if not worse.

First, she’d lost her cool and stormed out of class and second, that girl had come to her house and seen her in her casual home clothes, slippers, apron and all. Tōjō had given her the bag and jacket and had then hurried off. As Alisa came to the door to ask who it was, Eli had stared off after Tōjō, feeling a bit weird and confused.

“What’s wrong sis?”, Alisa had asked.

“Ehh? Oh, it’s nothing. Just got my bag and jacket delivered.”

Eli had kept looking where Tōjō had ran, then had closed the door and gotten inside.

Dinner had passed without any questions, Alisa in good spirits and as evening turned into night, sleep had kept her from thinking.

Now, in the classroom the next day, Tōjō was teasing her.

“Please, at worst you’d smack me with a fuzzy slipper”.

Eli snapped. How dare this so obedient teacher’s pet, mock her. She jumped up from her chair, sending it clattering to the floor, grabbed Tōjō’s collar and slammed her into the closest wall, hosting her up. Fury raged in her eyes as Tōjō slowly recovered from the attack and looked her quarry in the eye, a moment of fear replaced with self-certainty and bravado.

“But maybe we should find a bed first…”, Eli didn’t hear the rest of the comment.

_A bed? Does she… get off on this? But… bed… with her…_

Eli felt her thoughts moving away from anger into a more carnal state.

_No, I can’t._

She began to blush, shock of realization spreading through her. She let go of Tōjō, mustering her voice to sound as confident as she could.

“You.. I’ll fucking kill you if you tell anyone!”, Eli said and hurriedly left the classroom, choosing not to hear the quip Tōjō threw after her. She passed her classmates in the hallway who gave her ample room to pass. When she was sure no-one was looking snuck into the bathroom, locking herself inside a stall.

 _What the actual…_ , she thought as she tried to catch her breath, _Why is that girl on my case? And what the hell is going on with me? Am I… into her? Nah, can’t be. She just gets under my skin is all._

Eli knew she played for the other team, something that was looked down upon in her parent’s native country, but more accepted here. She had no romantic experience, so she had no idea what Tōjō wanted, if she even wanted something… but what she had said. Did she mean it? Or was it just a teasing game.

Resigned, Eli opened the stall and walked home.


	2. London - part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alcoholized dare gets some bite

London, England. The city of bankers and hooligans.

Eli Ayase eyed the bottles on display in the shop next to the hotel. She’d gone out looking for something to give her a buzz, she’d need it if she was going to manage to spend the night in the same room as her classmates. Also, it would be a good time to show her classmates that she wasn’t just rage and threats, that she did want to connect, but she just didn’t know how. She also figured that she could see what this Tōjō girl went for. She walked into the shop, not looking completely out of place with her features, but still distinctly foreign.

_What would be easy… of course… my drink. Water._

She grabbed three bottles of Vodka, not the cheapest stuff, but not the top shelf and walked up to the counter, having her money ready.

“Ya’ want this? How old are ya’ then?”, the shopkeeper said in an English dialect she’d never heard before.

She smiled and extended her money.

“Miss, how old are ya’? I canne sell it if you’re underage.”

“Wakaranai, sumimasen”, Eli responded.

“Eh?”

“Wakaranai. Ja nai yo.”

“Eh?”, the shopkeeper put his hand behind his ear, “English?”

“Nihon-go”

The shopkeeper didn’t understand a word, just as she had hoped. After looking around her pointed at the illuminated numbers on the till and said, “Pay. Money” while pointing at the money is Eli’s hand.

“Hai.”, Eli responded and put it neatly down on the counter.

The shopkeeper, quickly took the money, not bothering to count it and packed the bottles into a nondescript bag and said slowly.

“Thank you!”

Eli nodded and smiled. She quickly exited the shop. That had gone better than she had hoped. Sneaking back into the hotel and the room, she found most of the others gathered around with Tōjō nowhere in sight and Yazawa eyeing her suspiciously pointing at the bags.

“Got some vodka for us.”

The others looked at her in disbelief.

* * *

She wasn’t sure if she should seriously hurt the one that suggested this or thank her. The truth or dare game, fuelled by the vodka she’d brought, had taken a turn that she’d never expected. She was now locked into a stall in the bathrooms with Tōjō. Their classmates had dared Eli to make a hickey on her. In her drunken state, Eli had been stunned by the dare until Tōjō had dragged her off. They now stood, Tōjō leaning against the wall eyeing her nervously. Eli suddenly felt very much out of her element, most of the previous times she’d been this close to Tōjō, she’d been in rage, now she wasn’t really sure what she felt.

Running of vodka, her embarrassment quickly changed to determination, fumbling with the collar on Tōjō’s uniform, working to expose her neck.

Seeing the pale skin finally exposed, Eli steeled herself.

_It’s only a stupid dare... don’t read things into it that aren’t there… but she… smells nice…_

“Ready?”, Eli asked, trying to sound assertive as she inched closer to Tōjō’s neck.

“Sure…”, Tōjō’s voice didn’t sound as certain as it usually, afraid even. The hands Tōjō put on Eli’s shoulders where shaking too.

Eli didn’t stop to think. She dove in, affixing her lips to the other girl’s neck, beginning to pull the flesh into her mouth. She could feel Tōjō shivering, her hands gripping her harder as she worked. Her skin was really nice, and she smelled amazing. For a second she forgot about the dare and brushed her tongue against Tōjō’s neck. The other girl’s breath hitched and as Eli repeated the gesture, a soft _Ayase_ escaped her target’s lips.

Eli began to feel a warm, carnal desire spreading through her. She wanted more, she wanted to rip the other girls shirt open but even in her intoxicated state, she knew that here and now was not the time or place. So, she did what she could to end it. She bit.

She instantly felt Tōjō’s fingers digging into her shoulders and her breathing becoming heavy.

As she pulled away, Eli admired her work.

“That looks pretty nice.”

She looked up at Nozomi. Feeling the heat inside her rise. She was the hunter that had cornered her prey. She wanted feed, but not here, not now. And defiantly sober.


	3. London - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the last day in London, Eli get's herself into a scrap.

After they had come back and Eli proudly had shown off the mark on a slightly blushing Tōjō, the rest of the truth or dare had spiralled down into a simmer. No dares comparable were asked and no weird truths were extracted. The game had reached its’ climax and now, only the afterglow remained. It had also become exceedingly late. Yazawa had pointed out that it was time to get some sleep and most agreed. Eli sat with Tōjō next to her, sharing the last of the vodka.

“You know,”, Nozomi slurred, “You didn’t have to bite me.”

“I felt like it”, Eli responded.

 _I wanted to do way more_ , she thought in extension. This had been the closest she had been with someone that she hadn’t tried to beat up. Who cared of it was a dare, it had flicked some switch in Eli.

“You two. Sleep. Now!”, Yazawa said and unceremoniously flicked the light. Eli tightened up, feeling herself shake. But she wouldn’t give Yazawa the satisfaction. Alcohol was a marvellous booster at times.

“I miss my teddy.”, someone mumbled next to her.

“What?”, she turned to… Tōjō.

“Never mind. It was nothing.”, Tōjō blushed.

Eli regarded her through the haze of alcohol. She looked good, toned, the blush and downcast eyes giving her just that level of cute that Eli found adorable.

“You could hug me.”, Eli heard herself say.

 _What did I just say? Why did I say that? What the…._ , she thought.

“Ok”, Tōjō replied, interrupting Eli’s train of thought. Tōjō crawled to the middle of the madrassases that for some reason had remained empty and padded the place next to her. Slowly and unsteadily Eli quickly crawled over and when in reach, Tōjō grabbed on to her torso and pulled her down to the floor just as Eli felt her fear of the dark beginning to take over.

“Hey, our bed is over…”, Eli didn’t finish the sentence.

She saw an asleep Nozomi Tōjō, smiling happily, her head resting on Eli’s shoulder, strong arms holding on to her. The opened shirt showed just enough for Eli to steal the occasional glance as she drifted of to sleep. Unafraid.

* * *

She was being carried, her love was lifting her over the threshold… and dropped her. Eli instinctly grabbed hold of what she could, and snapped awake; only to look into Tōjō’s eyes, hovering just above her, Tōjō’s body on top of hers, a spark in her eyes.

Eli raised her head to whisper in the other girl’s ear, their cheeks touching.

_Her skin…_

“The hell are you doing?”, Eli whispered.

After a few moments Tōjō responded.

“You were laying on my arm. I was gonna lift you and set you down. But you thrashed.”

Eli sighed and pushed Tōjō off her. She sidestepped her sleeping classmates and made for the door.

“Coming?”

She thought she saw the faintest smile playing on Tōjō’s face in response.

_Maybe we’re starting to get along?_

* * *

Eli seriously wanted to die right now. Not only was she embarrassed that Tōjō had outed that she’d hugged her all through the night, but now she’d told the teachers that the mark on her neck was her doing.

_How can she be so casual about this? Wait is she…_

Eli heard a question, it felt directed towards her.

“Who bought alcohol?”

She more or less on automatic, lifted her hand.

“Who do you think?”

“Oh for gods sake. You can’t just do that.”

It didn’t sound as harsh as she had expected, maybe with the teachers outed, they were giving them some rope? Eli zoned out of the conversation, focusing on her breakfast, trying not to think of Tōjō’s skin. But she got roped into the proceedings again.

“… us kissing all the way on top?”

Eli couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“That’s gay.”

“What she means to say is sure.”, Tōjō said, elbowing her in the ribs.

“And no shit it’s gay, is that bad?”, she inquired.

Eli felt herself blushing,

“I-no that’s not-literally yesterday we-“, Tōjō started to giggle as Eli tried to finish the sentence

_Has she found out? Oh no, she might think… well… I did tongue her.. sooo maybe? Why the hell is she giggling. Stop it!_

“Oh, so you’re saying that you are gay then?”

Eli didn’t know if she should respond, here she was with Tōjō intently looking at her and her teachers that she’d just found our had a thing. Her brain couldn’t get a reply organized.

“I-what? No! Wait that wasn’t supposed to sound so defensive! I mean-oh for gods sake.”

_Run!_

Eli got up, her face feeling very hot and made as quickly as she could for the bathroom, hearing a giggle behind her as she left. She slammed the stall door behind her and sat down, hands covering her face. Then it dawned on her. This was the same stall as yesterday when…

_Why am I acting like this? How does she know to push me so?_

She almost wanted to scream but thought better of it. She wouldn’t give Tōjō the satisfaction.

_Is it ok if I tell Nozomi? Wait… when did I think of her by first name… what’s going on with me? I need to calm down._

She took a few deep breaths, thought of the Russian winters and, when she was convinced she wasn’t blushing anymore, left the stall.

* * *

“It’s private. I don’t need to answer.”, Eli protested as Nozomi had reminded her of the question.

“It’s okay, I get it.”, Nozomi replied to an unasked question.

_Wait what? What is she talking about?_

“It’s a tough question to answer when you don’t want to out yourself, but also don’t wanna betray your own identity. I certainly have found it hard to keep lying through my teeth to people.”

It took Eli a few moments to understand what Nozomi was trying to tell her.

_Oh my god… she’s…. she’s… like me. Like ME. It wasn’t just the booze… she liked it… what am I going to do…_

She hurried back to the room to get her things, but also to get a few moments alone. She needed to think.

As she stood alone in their room her mind raced.

_Should I tell her? Can I trust her? Would she believe me… well… probably after the hickey and last night… but… what does she want? What about Alisa?_

She opened her phone and sent of a message, hoping that the message wouldn’t disturb Alisa.

\--

Eli knew this feeling all too well. It had gotten her into trouble before and being in another country certainly wouldn’t change it. She was frustrated. At the world, at herself. She needed to blow of steam in the only way she knew how. She needed to get into a fight.

Wandering the streets, she listened to the sounds of the neighborhood, trying to identify the goings on in a foreign city. Then she heard it. The sounds of fists impacting, a cheering crowd and the grunts of exertion.

_Bingo. Now let’s see what we have._

Turning a corner, having zeroed in on the source of the sounds, she saw a burly built man, a couple of heads taller than her, surrounded by a mob creating a ring around him.

“Any one else?”, he challenged, his last opponent being dragged away.

_Perfect. Just what I need._

“I’ll take you on.”, Eli shouted in her slight accented English. All heads turned to her. She heard giggles.

The man eyed her.

“Unless you’re itching for some action, run along little girl.”, he bellowed, grabbing his crotch at the cheer of the crowd.

_Ohh, I’ll show him!_

“Sorry, just the thought of you makes me sick. Besides, I would probably not feel anything apart from your stinking breath.”

This got the reaction she hoped for.

“Why you…”

She balled her fists and stood fight ready. The crowd, coming to an unspoken agreement, opened and a man that looked to be in charge, waved her in.

“This is no limits deary, you fight till someone drop. And then…”

“… and then you can take him home, I know.”

The scored some laughter from the crowd. The fighter, recovered from the verbal abuse said:

“Let’s go missy” and cracked his knuckles.”

_I’ll destroy you!_

* * *

_Damn it Nozomi! Why did you have to go and do that? Why? And why for me? You know I could handle it. Dammit I needed that. What do you want from me? What can’t you leave me alone?_

_But… I don’t really mind… I think. I see what’s going on with you. I can tell. Could I… help? But who are you? What happened to you? Will you let me?_

The events of the past hour played back in Eli’s head and she didn’t get wiser from reviewing them, questions about what she felt towards this Nozomi Tōjō and exactly who she was to her.

_Should I tell her that she’s right? Do I dare?_

Uncertainty was not something Eli Ayase entertained, she knew better, but now, she wasn’t sure what was going on with either her or her surroundings. And the bombs that Nozomi had dropped on her were heavy.

Eli had seen the tear that came when Nozomi talked about her parents, how her entire body shook in frustration and what she did to herself in order to get around it.

_No shit she fell. I know that type of wound. I know what’s going on. Just talk to me. Please._

Nozomi had denied it of course, stubborn girl. But Eli had at least managed to open a door, offering an ear if she needed it. Now, all Nozomi had to do was accept it, but first came the physical injuries. Not just from the street fight, but from her own self-harm. To Eli’s surprise, after initially being very gently on the opponent, when the rules were laid out, she’d destroyed him. Eli had never seen anyone fight like that and she was certain that in a straight up fistfight against Nozomi, Eli would lose. Bad.

Sneaking into the room at the hotel, Eli’d gotten a treatment kit and gotten to work, shooting down Nozomi’s objections. She’d been so close. All it would have taken would have been to lean just a bit more in and their lips would have met. Eli wondered if it was the right time, but it wasn’t. Not yet.

_Why does she do this? And this face… so full of masks… I want to... NO… I need to know._

“I’m here if you need it. And I’m sure Yazawa is as well.”, Eli heard herself say as she extended her hand to help Nozomi up.

The soft silent _Thanks Eli. It means a lot._ made her feel warm for some reason.

She felt a vibration in her pocket.

_Alisa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And off we go from London to our next destination.


	4. On wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flight gives Eli time to think about what she feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please refer to "Love at first fight" - chapter "It was not fine" for more background on the events in this chapter.

As Eli closed her phone, the video of take-off securely stored on the device for Alisa, the words her younger sister had sent to her last night echoed in her mind.

_Alisa: Do you like her?_

Eli had looked at the message again and again, trying to answer this question. Truth was, she wasn’t sure. She thought that there might be something, maybe.

Even if there was, was it mutual or was it just wishful thinking?

_I have to tell her anyhow. She did put trust in me. Long time ago since anyone did._

As she withdrew back to her seat, she involuntarily took a deep breath, trying to muster courage.

_It smells like… her._

Looking out the window at the passing clouds, she made several false starts, trying to find a start.

_How do I say this…_

“Eli? Do you have something on your mind?”, Nozomi’s voice interrupted Eli’s inner monologue.

_Oh my god… she noticed. Those eyes._

Eli could feel her cheeks becoming warm.

“I.. Well kinda…”, Eli quickly looked out the window again, trying again to say what she needed to.

“It’s about what you told me in London”

“I told you a loota things in London, you gotta be more specific”

_Is she for real? Why is she teasing me? Surely she hasn’t forgotten… has she? Deep breaths._

She inhaled and turned to Nozomi.

“You did come out to me at the hotel, right? I’m not misreading anything here?”, she whispered afraid that anyone else would hear.

Nozomi’s mouth formed an _Oh_.

_Did I read it wrong? I’m going to seriously hit myself if I got it wrong. What will she think of me? What…isn’t she? Is she? Please, say I got it right._

“Oh yeah, I did”.

As soon as Eli heard the words she felt relief, and… very happy too for some reason.

_YES!_

“Oh! Cool.”

 _Say it say it SAY IT!_ _You can beat down two guys but not talk to a girl?_

“A-And you uh, you were right”, Eli turned to the window again, feeling herself getting lost in those emerald moons.

“Huh?”

“I uh, I mean, like…”

_You. I can’t say that. I mean.. I don’t know. Maybe. Damn you Alisa for putting that thought in my head…_

“Me too.”, Eli whispered, and she heard Nozomi’s breath catch.

* * *

Engrossed in her book she hardly felt the sudden dip. She heard something, then there was another dip. Nothing serious. She sensed a change in atmosphere to her left and a rasping sound, a quick glance and she saw the face of panic. Nozomi.

“Nozomi?”

Nozomi looked straight ahead, tears in her glazed eyes, her left arm gripping the armrest, knuckles turning white. Her other hand scratched rapidly and quite strongly on her left arm, in height with the bandage, or what was now left of it.

“Nozomi stop!”

Eli grabbed Nozomi’s wrists.

_She’s strong. Oh my god, it’s bleeding._

Eli wrestled with Nozomi’s wrists, keeping them away from her arm.

_She’s panicking. I’ve got to help her._

She grabbed hold of Nozomi’s left hand and interlaced her fingers into it, feeling the twitching of her friends’ fingers. Slowly, Nozomi turned to her, eyes unfocused, body vibrating and breathing shallow.

_Finally, she’s with me._

Eli came closer to Nozomi so she couldn’t see anything else but her eyes.

“Nozomi, focus on me.”, she said in a calm voice, her hand gripping Nozomi’s tighter. She heard the seat-belt sign switching off.

“It’s ok. The turbulence is over.”

She saw Nozomi slowly coming back.

“See? Everything is ok.”

Eli felt Nozomi relaxing, the grip on her hand changing from cramp to a soft hold.

“That’s good, just like that.”

_It’s like Alisa. She must have been scared senseless._

“Look around. Nothing is plummeting, everything is even. The table is steady, your chair is steady.”

Eli took Nozomi’s other hand into hers, applying a tiny extra squeeze of reassurance.

“There we go. Everything okay?”, she asked as she saw the spark coming back to Nozomi’s eyes.

She looked worried at Nozomi’s arm, the scratching had indeed torn through the bandages and a tint of red was beginning to be visible.

“I.. I think so… thanks.”

_It’s going to be all right. I’ll be there for you._

* * *

The bathroom was too small, too tiny. There was no way she could get away, but in a way she didn’t want to. But that question had short-circuited her brain.

_Yes, well no… not like that… not that you’d be a bad choice, I mean… I kinda like you… I think… but THAT… I… I don’t even know how…I think… kissing would be first right? But I’ve never kissed anyone before…_

All those thoughts competed for entry to her speech centre, but none came out. Eli was certain that the heat on her face betrayed her, if not the heat, the red colour certainly did.

“No-I! No! O-Of course not! No!

Oh my god.”

_Why am I such a bad liar when it comes to her? She can probably see right through me… I wanted more sure… but let her be my first?_

Nozomi giggled.

_Huh?_

“Jeez Eli, I was kiddin’.”, she said.

_No, you weren’t._

Nozomi quickly pushed past her and opened the door.

_At least... I hope you weren’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (begin rant) All this panic in the world is really starting to mess with me... as in I'm getting tired of it. We've had and have a lot worse and people seriously need to understand what certain words mean. (end rant)
> 
> Another glimpse into the a sharp mind that slowly is turning away from keeping everyone away. Nozomi has come through her armor. Now remains to see, what will happen now?
> 
> But seriously, don't panic, don't be unkind and take care of one another, there are better days ahead.


	5. Paris, the city of love, the Mona Lisa and incomprehensible traffic rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli learns something new about Nozomi. And beats somebody up..
> 
> (I should not write summaries)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the work that inspired this. There are always two ways to see a story.

Good.

This felt… good.

It was like something she’d been looking for a long time, but never knowing what it was. It was here. Now. In this moment.

But maybe it was just for this moment, the arm was already lowering.

_No. I don’t want it to end. Please. Stay like this._

As if her thoughts had been heard, she suddenly felt the touch of another arm on hers, and a hand, gently holding hers, keeping it in place.

_Wonderful._

She carefully turned her head to look into those oceans of emerald, she saw a smile. It radiated like nothing she’d seen from that source before.

_I will do anything to protect and see that smile again. Please let me._

She nuzzled closer, enjoying what time she would get.

* * *

As they had arrived to Paris, Eli’d never dreamed that she would be standing on the Eiffel Tower, arms encircling the twin-tailed girl, being so close to her.

They’d arrived late, so no shops had been open. For Eli that meant no booze, no free-ticket with her classmates. So, she’d tried to behave. It lasted about 10 seconds until her temper had had enough of Nozomi’s teasing and had tossed a pillow at her. In the ensuing pillow war Nozomi had slipped out, worry growing in Eli when she couldn’t find her.

So, she’d asked Nico for help.

That in itself took a lot out of Eli’s pride, but her worry let her endure it. Nico seemed genuinely surprised that she’d been asked for help, by, in all accounts, a trouble maker, who in earnest said that they didn’t want to ruin the trip.

After what seemed to Eli an eternity they had come back, Nozomi having no marks of self-deformation on her. Eli had been relived, even smiling.

* * *

_The previous night_

Now, the room quiet apart from the occasional snore and mumbling of her classmates, Eli looked intently at the screen of her phone, hoping the hotel’s complementary WiFi wouldn’t cut out.

Мне: So that’s what happened today

Алиса: Huh

Алиса: Vid was amazing btw! Can’t wait to fly with you again!

Мне: Christmas-just wait a bit

Алиса: Yes!! Tho-Big sis!

Алиса: Nozomi san sure popped up in your story a lot

Алиса: Explain yourself! Spill the tea sis

Мне: I,,

Мне: There’s nothing to spill

Алиса: Uhu

Алиса: Sure

Мне: ,,,

Мне: I mean she’s pretty?

Алиса: Pretty? I’ve seen her and she could stab me if she wanted

Алиса: But you like girls

Мне: Yes?

Алиса: ...And she’s a girl

Мне: What are you getting at?

Алиса: Oh jesus, sometimes you’re as dense as a brick

Алиса: Do you like her?

Мне: I-

Мне: I don’t dislike Nozomi per say I guess

Алиса: afsfsg Алиса: No honorific!

Алиса: Yes!

Мне: You little-

Мне: Look I don’t know kay?

Мне: She’s great

Мне: And I want her to step on me

Мне: But I’m terrible with feelings so who even knows

Алиса: I know

Алиса: You’re crushing!

Алиса: Ask her out!

Мне: ?????????

Алиса: You said she’s already figured you out! Now ask her on a date!

Мне: ,,,,,,,,,Алиса jesus christ you’re too young for this

Алиса: Boi Im 14-plenty old to know about this stuff

Мне: Look I’ll think about it

Алиса: Don’t take too long or she’ll find another girl

Алиса: Cuz seriously,,,you have at least five (5) crush on her

Мне: Well that sure is a lot of crush

Алиса: It’s a whole unit for sure

Алиса: ,,,,hey what time is it there anyway

Мне: Who cares?

Мне: Time is a construct

Алиса: afafsga it is late!

Алиса: Get??? To?? Sleep???

Мне: I will I will sheesh

Мне: Make sure to stay safe

Мне: Behave

Алиса: Ok boomer

Мне: That’s low

Алиса: No but seriously no worries

Алиса: The Kousakas are eccentric but they’re nice

Алиса: And Yukiho and I walk to school together

Алиса: Everything is going fine

Алиса: Now yeet to bed or I will yeet you

Мне: Yes yes

Мне: Good night

Мне: Afternoon? For you?

Мне: love you

Алиса: You too big sis

Алиса: Go wife Nozomi san

Мне: I,,,goodnight Алиса

Eli smiled. Alisa was doing well and the family she was staying at were nice. A slice of normal life. Just what she needed, not having to deal with a bruised sister coming home at odd hours.

* * *

Alisa pocketed her phone.

“That was a long conversation.”, Yukiho said.

“We’re eight hours apart. So it gets a bit weird at times. Sis was just going to bed and here we are, having lunch.”, Alisa replied.

The wind blew over the roof, making the girls cuddle up a bit closer. Parts of the Tokyo skyline reflected the sunlight.

“Say, Yukiho?”

“What do you do if you like someone?”

“Ehh, what.. where’s that coming from?”, she dusted a bit.

“Well…”, Alisa looked at her feet, “I think my sister likes someone, but I want her to tell.”

“Hmm…”, Yukiho looked up, “Talking maybe? Make it so she can’t avoid it?”

“Ohh, yeah that could work…”, Alisa mumbeled, lost in thought.

_Hmmm… yeah. I can do it like that. Sorry big-sis… I need to find out something too._

* * *

_Earlier, the same day_

All that Eli saw was a motion.

A foreign hand grabbing at something in the corner of her eye. A moment later it was gone, but Eli was already getting up, already understanding what had happened. With the rest of the class standing up, shocked by the lift, something they’d only seen in movies, Eli knew better. She started to run.

_I won’t let you piece of shit ruin this! I’ll destroy you!_

“Call the police!”, she shouted, hoping that Nozomi would hear it and pick up on it.

She saw the thief in front of her, probably not counting on having a girl run after him, ducking into the next alley to her right. As she ran, she put her hand round the water pipe from the roof at the corner to preserve her speed. She came out still accelerating towards the thief, suddenly scrambling to get up speed, his shoes slipping on the grimy cobblestones. Eli caught up with him in no time, sending a leg into his back toppling him over.

He turned, flicked out a knife and made a, rather amateurish, slash at her. Eli just stepped aside, feeling a hot line forming on her face and brought down her elbow on the extended arm, sending the knife flying out of reach. The thief tried to punch her with his other arm, swinging a haymaker, Eli easily ducked, kicking the guy in the chest. He toppled back against the wall.

_I will make you pay!!!_

After another couple of wild swings she easily avoided, she quickly assessed her opponent.

_This guy… he can’t fight, probably never has. And the clothes he’s wearing… that stuff is expensive. He’s doing this for fun… you’re so dead. No one steals from my friend and gets away with it!_

She sent a fist flying towards her opponent, it hit true on his face temporarily staggering him and she sent another fist towards his chest. Somehow, he managed to claw her on her arm, ripping her shirt, sending even more rage into Eli. She kicked him on the leg.

With a roar the man attacked, lunging forward, Eli sidestepped to let him pass her, her fist punching him straight on his cheek while her opposite knee connected with his abdomen, lifting the man off the ground.

She quickly pirouetted, sending her other leg to the side of his head, causing him to fall over.

_You’re so DEAD._

His defences down, she jumped on him, pinning down his arms with her legs and sent punch after punch into the man’s face. He tries screaming something in French, but the sound of her fists connecting with his head, left if garbled, splashes of blood settling on her hands.

Suddenly there was no reaction anyone. He’d lost consciousness. Eli got up from the thief, her breathing heavy.

_You smug SOB, hope the cops lock you up and forget you._

In the corner of her eye she saw Nozomi, staring at her.

“Are you gonna keep staring?”, she asked, keeping an eye on the man.

“Huh?... I wasn’t-You’re dreaming.”

_Is she blushing?_

“A-Anyway! Are you okay?”, Nozomi asked.

Eli looked down at the thief, still out cold. She had a superficial cut on her face, her shirt was torn and she had a few scratches. It was nothing.

“I’m fine. My shirt is ripped though. “But oh well.””, she said, holding up the fabric for display.

When Eli got closer she saw Nozomi had a blush on her. Had she liked seeing Eli beating up the thief or was it something else?

“Come on, let’s get back to the others.”

Eli bent down and picked up the man by his collar and dragged him back to her classmates, carrying the wallet in the other hand.

As they returned, the reactions were, not what she had expected.

_Nico looks like she either wants to kill me or hug me… what is going on here? Saki… she doesn’t look scared, just confused. I’d better give it back to her. Maybe this is a start?_

She dropped the thief on the ground, Nozomi standing guard as he came around. She said something in French to him, pointed at Eli and her fist and he sacked back down.

“Here, I hope it’s unharmed.”, Eli said, handing Saki the wallet.

Saki looked like a deer in headlights, her eyes darting from her wallet to Eli and back. Uncertain of what to do.

“I...Thanks...”

Eli smiled and walked back to Nozomi.

_See, I don’t bite. Unless you ask me. Hmm if Nozomi asked me… no… don’t think like that… you need to find out first._

After the police had left with the thief some minutes later, Saki spoke up again, looking directly at Eli.

“Seriously, nice going.”

Eli couldn’t remember when she’d gotten so happy from anything her classmates had ever said to her. She grinned.

* * *

The bus tour was marginally entertaining. Eli had taken to the top level and was snapping pictures for Alisa, trying to ignore the shrill sound of the speakers.

Suddenly, in one of the pauses she heard Japanese, spoken somewhat loudly, probably to get through the noise but in an unmistakable kansai-esque dialect. Nozomi. Nozomi was on the bus too! Eli’d rushed to the bus without looking around, assuming that a tourist bus was nothing for a world traveler. Eli quickly got up and looked around. Hmm probably on the first level, where most people weren’t.

As she stepped down the staircase, she saw the familiar twin-tails bobbing in sync with the bus, a phone pressed to one ear.

“Hey I have friends!”, Nozomi shouted into her phone. It seemed she was trying to convince the person on the other side.

_She needs me._

Eli stealthily slid in next to Nozomi. She hadn’t noticed her.

“She‘s actually quite popular!” Eli shouted in the direction of the microphone.

Her sudden interjection apparently startled Nozomi who almost dropped her phone, fingers pressing icons wildly.

“Shoot shoot!”, Nozomi rolled down her sleeves in panic.

“Nozomi! Who is your new friend? Let me see!”, Eli heard a voice saying on the phone. Nozomi angled the phone and Eli saw live video of a woman, much like Nozomi, only older and with short, cropped hair.

She waved to the image.

“Hello.”

“Mom this is Eli Ayase. She’s a classmate and friend of mine.”, Nozomi turned the phone back to herself.

Eli zoned out for the rest of the conversation, feeling she was intruding, but kept a close eye on Nozomi who seemed to deflate for every second the conversation lasted.

“You okay?”, Eli asked.

“Yeah yeah...it’s just stressful to talk to her.”

_Why? Seemed like a nice person. Unlike…_

“She seemed nice.”, comforted Eli.

“She is she is, but mom can be...not negligent but honestly I don’t know how much she truly cares about my life and how much is just curtesy.”

“I mean she has to care if she called.”

“Well she actually called cuz she wanted to know if some stuff arrived at my place.”

_Wait what?_

“Your place?”, Eli asked, confused at this new information.

“Don’t you live with your parents?”

“I...No I moved to japan alone.”, Nozomi confirmed.

_Ohh no. Why didn’t she.. ohh wait, of course she wouldn’t tell me._

“Oh don’t look so surprised! You live with Alisa too!”

“But that’s with my sister. Do you have pets or a roommate?”

Nozomi shook her head.

“No but…I don’t mind. It’s honestly not that much different from before since mom and dad were always working.”

_That’s horrible. For Alisa’s sake there was no choice. But this…_

As the bus stopped Nozomi rolled up her sleeves again.

“Do they not know?”

“Of course not!”

Nozomi hurried past Eli, calling out to Nico.

_Nozomi… what happened to you…_

* * *

Climbing the Eiffel Tower, Eli wasted no opportunities to take pictures. Alisa would be thrilled, maybe they could go here together. All three of them.

_Whooh…why did I think that?_

She looked back at Nozomi who kept herself far away from the edges.

_Is she afraid of heights? No. She can’t be._

“Come on, you barely get the full extent from there.”, Eli called to Nozomi.

“No, it’s alright.”

Eli had Nozomi’s mood shift since the call. She was, distant. Like she was constantly looking over her shoulder.

“Are you scared of heights?”

“No I..”, Nozomi’s arm moved to her bandaged arm and Eli understood.

_She’s afraid of herself, what she might do._

She walked over to Nozomi, taking her hand.

“Here, I’ll hold on to you.”, she squeezed Nozomi’s hand.

Gently pulling Nozomi, who seemed to be in a trance, they got closer to the fence, the lights of the city stretching out before them.

Eli heard a soft _wow_ from her friend.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“Yeah...”

Nozomi started to fumble with her phone, Eli seeing a new panic coming. Nozomi had, but didn’t want to, let go of Eli.

_I know. Hold on._

“Here.”, Eli said as she let go of Nozomi’s hand, panic and fear spreading in it until Eli hugged Nozomi from behind, keeping the close contact. Eli felt her relax.

“How’s that?”

“...Better!”

_This feels… nice. Good. Just a moment longer._

Eli hugged her tighter.

_This… feeling… what is it? Could it be? *sigh* You really have a crush… a bad one._

“Are you feeling better?”, Eli asked ask Nozomi slowly put her phone away.

“Yeah...thanks a lot.”

_I know now. I have to let her in._

Eli gently ended the embrace, holding on to Nozomi’s hand, smiling.

“Hey, anytime.”

For a few moments nothing else excited. Not Paris, not their classmates, not their teachers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xtra credit to WashiWashiMonster for more or less re-writing the text conversation to a more current format and lingo.


	6. Bern there and back again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the last leg of the trip before it's time to return to Japan, Eli get's Nozomi a 'special' gift and a promise of a future request.

Eli was lost in thought.

So far, the class trip had been quite different from what she’d imagined but had also born some familiar tropes along with it, but… it had all been different. She’d expected to get into a scrap or two, that her classmates would have avoided her like the plague and the teachers making digs at her whenever they could. And, somewhere hidden in her mind, so far down she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she’d hoped to get closer to Nozomi. And curiousness had turned into an odd kind of friendship. No, a full-blown crush. Even Alisa had noticed.

“This seat taken?” said an unexpected voice.

Eli jumped in surprise and looked into Saki’s earnest face.

“Uh… no?”

Saki smiled and sat down next to her without hesitation.

“I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”, she said, nidly looking at Eli.

_What’s she doing? Why? But… it’s nice._

Maybe, one person at a time, Eli could turn things around.

* * *

Liftoff had gone smoothly until a chime sent alerts down Eli’s consciousness.

Turbulence.

Not a problem for her, but she instantly felt the tension rising in Nozomi, sitting next to her. All the signs were there. She quickly too Nozomi’s right hand in hers as she felt the hand slowly clamping shut in the onset of a panic attack. Nozomi noticed something too, glancing down at her right hand, then looking at Eli while her body was rigid.

“It’s ok, you got this.”

Eli smiled and gently, with her hand on Nozomi’s cheek, turned her head so that Eli took up all her vision. The panic was clear, but it temporarily halted, Nozomi’s face instead looking in awe at Eli.

_I wonder what would happen if I kissed her right now. But.. no , now is not the time. She needs my help._

“Focus on me, okay?”, Eli said, gently caressing Nozomi’s hand and cheek. She felt the other girl leaning in slightly into her hand. Relaxing.

“There we go. Relax your breathing.”

After a few seconds, the plane made a small jump, Eli could feel Nozomi’s hand gripping hers tighter and her breath hitching. But she continued to look into Eli’s eyes.

“That’s good, keep looking at me.”

_And never stop._

Eli leaned closer, to make certain Nozomi saw only her, and she started to gently stroke Nozomi’s cheek. She saw Nozomi’s eyes darting around, from here eyes to somewhere else, then back.

_She looks so vulnerable. Maybe I could… no… she needs me, not like that. What if she doesn’t like or or I mess up… but she’s so._

**_DING!_ **

The chime snapped Eli back from her thoughts.

“There, you did it.”, Eli smiled, “I’m proud of you.”

“But I... I didn’t do anything.”, Nozomi meekly responded.

“You did better than last time.”

“But I was still scared.”

“But you didn’t break down.”, Eli replied, squeezing Nozomi’s hand.

_I don’t want to let go… is this…_

“So, you made progress. And I’m proud of you for it.”

Nozomi leant back in her seat, their hands still connected and For a brief moment, Eli though she could see Nozomi’s eye moistening.

“...Thank you. That means more than you realize.”

_If I only knew what she means by that…_

* * *

Bern turned out to be quaint. She didn’t understand a word, the Dialect being something she could appreciate but not understand. Also, there seemed to be fountains everywhere and Nico was acting as their tour guide, putting in Dialect words every now and then, leaving everyone slightly exhausted as they tried to figure out how a young country had survived with such a language.

Eli, feeling playful, splashed water at Nico. Nico felt challenged. They ended up soaked but laughing.

It was nice to bond.

* * *

_Is she seriously staring towards that… shop?_

“Whatcha looking at?”, she asked.

“That shop.”

 _How can she be so cool about it… the stuff they have is… racy_. _And why doesn’t she get at least a bit flustered by it?_

“How so? Looking for something?”

“A strap on would be dope.”

“Why don’t you go buy one?”, asked Emely with a grin. She’d clearly been eves dropping.

“Are you crazy?”, Nozomi protested, a slight blush forming.

_Oh this will be fun._

“What? It’s not that big a deal.”, Eli challenged.

Nozomi looked her square in the eye, more red reaching her cheeks,

“Oh yeah? You do it then.”

_I’ll show you._

She got up.

“Sure”, and walked into the shop.

Inside it is what you’d expect to see, racy underwear, various phallic implements, whips, chains and plenty or harnesses.

Eli suddenly realized she didn’t know any words in german for a place like this and quickly consulted her phone, leaching off the free WiFi. Running her sentence though the translation app, she walked up to the counter.

“Grüzi. Wie kan ich Ihnen den helfen?”, said the female clerk.

Eli pointed at herself and said “Japanese.” In english and held out her phone, pointing to the sentence on the display.

Switching to a slow English, the clerk said, “Ahh yes, follow me please.”, and indicated for her to follow. They arrived in a small room and the clerk pointed towards a display on the wall.

“Here. Strap-ons.”

The wall was full of the items in various sizes and configurations. Eli didn’t know halfway what she should get so went by colour…. Hmm a purple one in an acceptable price range, she still had some of the winnings left, exchangeded to the local currency. Noticing the padlocks on the hooks she pointed to it and said: “This one, please.” In english.

The clerk took it of the display, they proceeded to the counter, Eli payed and as the clerk was going to put it into a black plastic bag, Eli crossed her arms, hands open.

“No, thank you.”

The clerk looked at her for a second, then shrugged and give her the package and her change.

“Have fun. Good bye.” She called as Eli left.

“I will.” She laughed back.

* * *

As she walked out of the store she could see the teachers, her classmates and, most importantly, Nozomi staring in her direction.

“Here ya go!”

She tossed the box in Nozomi’s direction. Like Pavlov’s dogs, the teachers and the class looked at it fly. Nozomi caught it as it approached. She looked at it, her eyes opening wide in… surprise? Astonishment? Embarrassment? Then quickly put it away in her bag, giving Eli a look.

_Now… what was that about? She did say she wanted one…_

* * *

_Why is she so worried? She wanted it and I could give it to her, what’s the problem?_

“Our whole class saw you!”, Nozomi protested.

“I’m the class delinquent, not that damaging to my nonexistent reputation.”, Eli explained.

She deflected another attempt from Nozomi to split the cost.

_Maybe, she wouldn’t mind if I…._

“But you can pay me back later with something I want. And it isn’t money.”, Eli said, confusement spreading across Nozomi’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having all the time and none of the motivation. It's that simple. Having no fixed times anymore, apart from the ones I try to enforce on myself is casuing me some major blocks in my creative process, before I could think about story when I was working, but now I have nothing real to help push me.
> 
> My little project that I've set myself is helping, but still, it's not like work.
> 
> Unemployment sucks for a partial workaholic like me.


	7. Winged key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The class travels back to Japan, Eli has a dream and Alisa sets her plan into action.

As the plane rolled on the runway for take-off, the occasional bump from a stopper making its way through the body to their seats, Eli was in thought.

 _I hate night flights. Entire day gets screwed up_.

Eli sat next to Nozomi, her eyes looking at her friend. She saw Nozomi’s panic seeping to the surface. She quickly took her hand, their fingers intertwining as if it was natural to them.

“It’s okay, you’ll do fine.”, Eli said smiling.

_I got it!_

Eli started to undo the bracelet from Alisa.

“What are you doing?!”, Nozomi asked, urgency in her voice seeing Eli fiddle with the straps.

“Well, I may be asleep when turbulence happens so...”, Eli muttered as she tried another approach to loosen part of the bracelet, “Here.”

She handed Nozomi the light blue one.

“Alisa made it to keep me safe. I bet that transfers to you!”

Eli saw Nozomi struggling with the gift.

“Just remember the good luck charm if I can’t help.”, she squeezed Nozomi’s hand, “Though of course if it’s too bad, just wake me.”

“Okay.”

Eli held out her pinky.

“Promise?”

She promised.

_Can I tell her that with the light from the window, she looks like an angel?... wait, what am I thinking, I can tell her that.. she’d think I’m weird… but in Paris, she held me back, what is that?_

Eli reclined, looking dreamingly at Nozomi.

“You can do it.”

She started to feel drowsy.

_Maybe I can sleep. Her hand is so warm. This is nice._

As sleep began to take Eli, she thought she felt something stroking her hand.

_Nice…_

* * *

_She was walking along the streets in Paris with Nozomi. The atmosphere was warm, evening sun giving the streets a warm orange glow._

_They turned a corner and walked towards the ferris wheel that stood by the shore of the Seine. They entered the VIP car and slowly ascended. The cabin had no seats, tatami mats taking up the area, with a small fire pit with a tea kettle in the middle. Nozomi was wearing a shrine maidens outfit and started to perform tea ceremony, the bitter smell of green tea filling the cabin._

_“Here”, Nozomi said, handing Eli a bowl of green liquid._

_She gingerly took the bowl, making sure the sleeves of her kimono wouldn’t stain._

_Slowly raising the bowl to her lips, she felt the soft taste of grapes. It was exquisite._

_“Do you like it?”, Nozomi asked._

_“It’s wonderful. Thank you for this.”_

_Nozomi smiled a warm, loving smile, blushed slightly and held out a card._

_“This is your future.”, she held out another, “…and this is mine.”_

_“Shall we turn them together?” Eli asked._

_Nozomi nodded, holding out the cards for Eli to hold._

_“_ _три_ _…_ _два_ _…_ _один_ _” and they turned._

_Eli’s card held a picture of Nozomi and Nozomi’s card a picture of Eli._

_Eli gasped. Nozomi giggled._

_“Well well, what do we have here?”_

_Eli blushed._

_“Well… I kinda…”_

_Thunder sounded outside the window._

Eli opened her eyes, feeling confused and disoriented.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”, she heard a voice say.

Nozomi.

But, she didn’t look the same, the shrine maiden replaced by the school uniform. Eli’s mind slowly turned, placing all facts of the current situation clearly for her. She was sitting next to Nozomi on the plane back to Japan, her hand felt cold, it was no longer nested in Nozomi’s.

“Oh...It’s fine. Sleep well?”

“Dozed for a bit.”

_She didn’t want to wake me._

“You need an energy drink?”, Eli asked, reaching for her cabin bag, extracting a can from it and handing it to Nozomi.

“How did you even get that on here?”

“Oh you know, just act inconspicuous. Seem innocent and they don’t care about such minor stuff.”

_And lots of smiles and somewhat bad English to the customs people._

“You risked getting arrested...for an energy drink?”

_I do this for you. Just for you. No one else._

“No, I risked that for an energy drink for you specifically.”

Nozomi blinked and drank the contents.

“I’m at loss for words honestly.I mean thanks a bunch but-the risk reward trade-off is a bit wonky here isn’t it?”

Eli could help grinning and shook her head.

“Not to me.”

_For you I’ll smuggle a crate of it._

* * *

“See ya kids! I’m gonna go get hammered!”, Emily said as she said her good-byes to the class after they’d arrived and gathered in the arrival area.

_Is she really a teacher?_

“Very professional those two.”, Eli shook her head.

“Extremely.”, Nozomi chuckled.

“Big sis! You’re back!”, Alisa screamed as she ran into Eli, tackling her.

“Ah...h-hey Alisa.”

Eli looked at the few classmates left in embarrassment.

“Was it fun? What did you buy? Can I see all the pictures?”, Alisa bubbled

“Alisa, give her some space.”, said a new voice.

A girl approached them, she looked to be Alisa’s age.

“But Yukiho! She went to Europe!”, Alisa protested.

“And I’m sure she can tell you all about it on the drive back.”, Yukiho said back.

“Wait drive?”, Eli looked confused, noticing two more people approaching.

“Yukiho's mom is gonna drive you home, she heard you’d need to take the train otherwise and thought that hard with all your luggage.”

“I hope you don’t mind.”, the older, probably the mother said.

“No I-Thank you.”, Eli bowed slightly.

_But… Nozomi… I don’t want to leave just yet…but… Alisa…_

“You can have shotgun if you want!”, said the other person, a girl probably younger than Eli, but older than Yukiho.

Alisa took Eli’s luggage and started with the others towards the exit.

Eli turned, looked at Nozomi and the rest of the class.

“Well... guess I’ll see you guys on Monday.”, Eli said as she waved at them, eyes, staying her eyes on Nozomi a bit longer than everyone else. The she turned and hurried after the departing group.

* * *

She’d seen it. The sadness in her face of having to leave her friend behind, and she’d also seen that it was mutual. She had planned for this; she knew what to do. She only hoped that the other girls would let her put the idea out first.

* * *

She, almost theatrically, padded her pockets, diving into them and emptying them.

“I can’t find it.”, she kept pulling pockets inside out.

“Alisa, where could you have lost it?”

“I don’t know, somewhere at Yukiho’s maybe? But we cleaned the room this morning and then it was in my pocket.”

_How do we get in now?_

“Well, I could break a window.”

“What?”, said Yukiho’s mother, “Isn’t that dangerous?”

_I can’t really say that I’ve kicked in the door once…_

“It is, but my key is inside and without Alisa’s key we can’t…”

“I have an idea.”, Alisa interrupted.

“What is it Alisa?”

“If it is ok with you…”, she turned to the mother, bowing, “Would it be possible for me to stay with Yukiho for a few days while we look for the key and try to get hold of the landlord?”

“We can’t impose on their…”, Eli protested.

“We won’t mind having you stay Alisa, problem is we don’t have a extra room for Eli to stay in.”, the mother explained.

“No problem.”, Alisa beamed and turned to Eli, “Big sis, why don’t you ask Nozomi if you can stay with her?”

“Alisa, I can’t just…”

“You can at least ask.”

“But…”

“ _Big sis.”_

_She’s set on this. Fine._

“Ok, I’ll call her, but if not we have to figure something out.”, Eli resigned and took out her phone, scrolling her contact list and pressed _Dial_ on the contact entry.

_Pick up…._

The line connected.

“Toujou Nozomi?”

“Oh thank god.”, Eli feeling the relief in her voice, why had she been so nervous.

“Is something wrong?”

“Kinda yeah. You know how Alisa stayed at Yukiho’s for the week?”

“No?”

“Ah! Well she did. And she has no clue where she put the house key. And the Kousaka’s only have one extra bed.”

_Please get it, I’m so embossed._

“Need a place to stay?”

“Very much so.”

“Well, I have a couch?”

“That’ll do. I’ll be right over, thanks a lot.”, Eli hung up.

She looked up.

“Could I impose on you to get me to this address?” She showed the destination.

Yukiho’s mother looked at it and smiled.

“Not a problem, it’s not too far away.”

“Thank you.”

They entered the car and left the house behind.

* * *

It was indeed not too far away. It just a few minutes away by car and Eli stepped out of the car, looking up at the apartment complex.

“Will you be allright?”, the mother asked?

“I’ll be fine. Alisa, be sure to behave and helpful, ok?”

“Of course.”

“Alisa has been on her best behavior, even helping out in the shop.”, the mother smiled at Eli.

“Oh… good. Alisa, let me know when you find the key.”

“I will.”

Eli waved after the car as it inserted itself into the traffic. She turned and walked towards the building. Arriving, she checked the register and saw Nozomi’s flat was on one of the higher floors, locating the elevator. It bore a sign.

_Out of order. We apologize for the inconvenience._

Eli hefted her bag and started to climb the stairs, her stamina getting a workout. Finally arriving at the designated floor, she found Nozomi’s door and rang.

The door opened and Nozomi said: “Hey Eli.”

“H-Hey.”

Eli felt she’d lost her capability of speech. Nozomi’d opened, dressed in a sports bra and shorts, her physique clear to see.

_Wow. She’s… wow. What a bod… she looks amazing._

She stood still for a few seconds, her gaze getting stuck on Nozomi’s chest.

“Eyes up here darlin’”

_Oh shit!_

“I didn’t-I wasn’t staring!”, Eli said, blushing.

_But I so was…_

“Didn’t say you were.”, Nozomi teased.

Nozomi laughed, took Eli’s luggage and waved her inside.


	8. voices before bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli is nervous and Alisa's plan isn't entirely selfless.

“Wanna just sleep in the same bed? Not like we haven’t before.”

Nozomi had spoken the question like it was nothing. Eli felt herself blushing.

_Did she just say what I think she said… but… but… she means sleep, yes.. just that.. sleep not ‘sleep’_

“I-What?”

_I almost said ‘I want that too’.. oh my god.. what am I saying…_

“I mean you can sleep here but like I said, no blanket.”, Nozomi said.

“No I-Sure let’s sleep together-wait not like that! I mean in the same bed. Sharing a bed. Wait!”

_WHAT AM I SAYING… no fair standing around in that…_

“Perfect!”, Nozomi said, refolding the sofa and setting up the cushions again.

“We still got a bit until bedtime. How do you wanna kill time?”, Nozomi asked, sending a small wink Eli’s way.

“Uh..”, Eli’s eyes were glued on Nozomi, making it hard to speak.

_She’s just… wow… and that sheen… what is safe.._

“Ah! I-I dunno. Got any movies?”, Eli stammered.

“Depends. What genre are you into?”

_I can’t tell her that I love romance movies.. that’s so lame… she’ll tease me to no end… but maybe…_

Eli muttered something.

“Come again?”

“I..”

_Don’t be such a coward…_

“I like romance!”

Nozomi’s face was illegible. Eli didn’t know if she would be laughed at or accepted.

“Oh good pick!”, she finally answered.

_Puh!_

\--

Eli had cried. Lots. The plight of the main character was so tragic, the settings so beautiful that she just couldn’t help herself. For some reason, showing this side in front of Nozomi felt ok. Embarrasing to be sure, but it was... ok. She might get teased for it, but Nozomi would not out her. That felt good, not to be on a constant vigil.

But the movie ended, the discussion about it ended and the day was nearing its end too.

“I’m gonna go ahead and change. Feel free to do so as well.”, Nozomi said and went into her room.

_I could just… peek. No harm there right? Nononononono.. that’d be creepy, just no…_

Eli quickly walked over to her suitcase, took out her sleepwear, walked to a secluded corner and quickly changed.

The door to Nozomi’s bedroom was still closed, maybe she wasn’t ready? Eli knocked, heard a _come in_ and opened the door. Looking around Eli noticed that there was a small nightlight on a shelf providing some illumination. The bed was set for two.

_It’s going to be close… and I’m sober… what if I… would she… would she mind? I mean she looks borderline sinful in that ‘thing’, maybe…_

Eli found it hard to look at Nozomi, just the thought of sleeping next to her made her nervous.

“Ready for bed?”

“Yep.”

“Here, this is your side.”, Nozomi pointed out, moving the giant-size teddy bear to the side and slipping under the covers.

_Here goes._

Eli turned off the main light, fully prepared to slam on the switch immediately after. But the impulse never came. The light on the shelf, Nozomi’s presence, it all calmed her down. She walked over to the bed, settling in next to Nozomi.

“Just a fair warning, I talk in my sleep.”, Eli said.

“I’ll be sure to record that.”, Nozomi laughed.

“If you do that, I swear I’ll-“

“Kill me?”

_Maybe I’ll kiss you first. But yeah, you’d be so dead._

Eli huffed and turned away from Nozomi.

“Good night!”

_Is she doing that with my hair just to tease me?_

“Good night Eli.”

* * *

“You know, if she ever finds out, she’d have your head.”, the girl with the hazelnut hair said.

“I won’t tell her then, will I?”, the blond giggled.

“You really think forcing them together will solve anything? It won’t be like in the manga, you know?”

“Wasn’t only for them…”, the pout could be heard clearly in the dark.

“Then why?”

Silence.

The hazelnut-haired girl felt pressure and dampness on her cheek.

There was a light shudder.

“I got to stay here a bit longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short one as I'm building up speed. wanted to get this out to that I can focus on other things for a few days.


	9. At Nozomi's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli begins to realize that it is more that a crush.

Eli awoke to a crash. She open her eyes but saw nothing. No light, no forms, just the eerie play of very weak light from outside casting shadows. Scary shadows.

Her heart started to race, she felt alone, abandoned, vulnerable.

She instinctively grabbed on to the whatever was closest to her, forcing her eyes shut, hoping that whatever the dark hid would not see her.

What she held on to was warm, soft and smelled wonderful. She felt so safe, like comfort and safety had been turned into a person that she was hugging.

 _Wait…what???_ , her flight instinct cutting over to her rational mind, _Oh my god.. it’s… it’s… Nozomi._

She felt Nozomi stir, she was probably holding her too tightly.

“Sorry..”, she muttered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She couldn’t let go, instead she scooted closer.

“Everything okay?”, Nozomi asked.

Eli shook her head.

“It fell.”, Eli said, guessing the unasked question.

“Oh dear..”, Nozomi started to move away

_No, don’t… I feel so safe with you._

Eli pulled back Nozomi.

“But I can’t get the light-“

“This is fine too.”

_This is much better. So warm. So safe._

“Just..don’t leave?”, Eli pleaded.

_Stay with me._

“Of course not.”

Eli nuzzled in even closer.

“Thank you.”, she whispered as sleep slowly took her again, surrounded by the warm feeling of Nozomi.

* * *

_Her parents were shouting at her.  
Telling her that she wasn’t good enough, that she was disgrace to the family. Screaming insults and curses._

_Her father put his hands around her throat and started to apply pressure, shaking her._

Eli woke up, still feeling the pressure. Nozomi had her by the throat… and she was still asleep. She turned, twisted. A nightmare.

“Nozomi”

No reaction.

_What are you dreaming?_

“Nozomi!”

_This is getting uncomfortable.. man she’s strong…_

Eli raised her hand as it became harder to breathe, and slapped Nozomi hard on the cheek.

Nozomi blinked, the pressure stopped. She backed off Eli in panic.

“Oh fuck, thank god.”, Eli said as she gasped for breath.

Eli breathed out as Nozomi scrambled off of her, trying to put some distance between them.

“I’m so sorry”, Nozomi cried in panic, shielding herself.

_What had she been dreaming to begin to strangle me?_

“No-no I-Nozomi what in the world were you dreaming?”, Eli tried to calm her, feeling her neck.

Nozomi’s eyes suddenly went wide and she rushed towards Eli.

“Holly shit I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine it’s fine, I’ve had worse.”

_Much worse…_

“But seriously, what were you dreaming?”, Eli asked.

“I-Eli is your neck okay?”

_Don’t change the subject, please trust me. I … think I … I …_

“Don’t veer off.”

Eli took Nozomi’s hands, the same that had just seconds ago hurt her, but she wasn’t angry. She was concerned for her… friend.

“Is everything okay?”

Nozomi hesitated.

_I won’t hate you. Promise._

“I have bad dreams a lot…”

Eli listened to Nozomi’s short explanation. 

_She’s been raised as a soldier, a fighter… not a kid. What the fuck are her parents. She’s afraid of herself. I won’t pry… she has to tell me._

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Daylight had invaded the room, but it was still early.

Eli, carefully gestured at Nozomi’s cheek, now in full red from her slap.

“I’m uh..I’m sorry about that. You wouldn’t wake up and uh..you’re kinda strong.”, she looked away, ashamed.

“It’s fine, I’ve had worse.”

The silence came back. It was too early.

“Want to try sleeping again?”, Eli asked.

Nozomi hesitated, looking at Eli’s neck.

“Don’t worry about me.”, Eli said, hearing the unasked fear, “Worst case I wake you up again.”

_Maybe like this…_

Eli pulled Nozomi closer to her, circling her waist with her arms and pulled her down into the bad, holding on to her from behind.

She felt Nozomi relax into the embrace.

_Just like Paris._

Soon after she heard a sign as Nozomi nestled in closer and her breathing began a slow and rhythmic pattern.

_How I wish I could help you, make you understand how… how… good you are._

As their combined warmth made her drowsy, something clicked in Eli’s mind. She’d crushed on others before but this... this was different.

_I like you._

* * *

Daylight shone through Eli’s eyelids and woke her up, as she opened her eyes she immediately started to blush. She was lying facing Nozomi, their foreheads touching.

_She looks so peaceful._

Slow, rhythmic breathing escaped from Nozomi’s slightly opened lips.

_I could… right? She’d never know…_

She carefully reached for her phone, made sure it was silent and opened the camera app. Checking that the flash was off, she took a picture. Admiring her handywork, she instantly felt shame, she’d done this without asking... but... that wasn’t bad as such was it? Right? Right.

If Nozomi found the pic, she’d apologize and hope she’d be allowed to keep it.

She gingerly worked her way out of the bed, making sure not to wake up Nozomi, and slid into the kitchen.

It was equipped sure, but didn’t seem to have ever been used, it was all just too… neat. Like out of a catalogue. Eli opened the fridge and sighed.

Empty apart from energy drinks and protein bars.

_What do you eat… well, time for me to go shopping and get some breakfast going.. at.. ahh well.. brunch thing maybe?_

She quickly got dressed, checked on Nozomi to make sure, wrote a small note and, finding the keys went to supermarket she’d seen when she was driven here.

* * *

“Eli?”

Eli eeked, she’d been so engrossed in making a meal that she hadn’t noticed Nozomi waking up.

“Jesus! Don’t scare me like that.”

“How long have you been awake?”, Nozomi asked.

“A few hours. I didn’t want to wake you. You seemed to be sleeping peacefully so you might as well get as much sleep as you can.”, Eli said matter-of-factly, adding a warm smile, “I’m cooking some lunch if you want.”

Nozomi looked dumbfounded.

“With what ingredients?”, she asked as she open the fridge. It was full.

“I noticed you didn’t have much, so I went shopping.”, Eli replied, seeing Nozomi expression.

“How much did you spend?”

_Let’s test this…_

“If I tell you, will you pay me back?”, Eli snickered.

“Duh!”

“Then who knows.”, Eli winked.

“You can’t keep buying me things!”

“Stop me.”

Nozomi shook her head.

“What are you expecting in return?”

_I want to be nice to you.. you’re… special. I wish I could say that, but how would she…_

“Hey I can be nice with no strings attached.”, Eli said plainly.

“Seems suspicious.”

_WHAT? I’m not suscpicious.. .it’s not like I want you to pay be back in.. well.. maybe.. no. no.—no not like guilt!_

“Do you want to keep questioning me or do you want to eat?”, Eli held a plate in front of Nozomi who promptly took it and started eating.

“Has Alisa found her keys yet?”

“Not as of yet.”

“Well...whatya wanna do in the meantime then?”

* * *

_Defeat… again… how does she do it… this must be broken._

Eli looked incensed at the controller in her hand.

Her phone signal interrupted her argument for Nozomi cheating.

“This is Subway.”, she answered, earing a confused look from Nozomi.

“Sis, I found the key. It was under Yukiho’s bed, can’t believe we missed it. They’re driving me home.”, Alisa said on the other side.

“Oh! Oh perfect, I’ll head on over then. Love you!”, she hung up.

“Alisa found her keys!”, she informed.

“Where?”

“Under Yukihos bed.”

“Makes you wonder what they did on her bed for it to land there.”, Nozomi said, looking at Eli conspiratorially.

Eli breath caught.

_No, she wouldn’t. Alisa? Never. She’s so... so… good._

“Nozomi! She’s barely 14! No way would they- Oh will you stop that!”, Eli protested until it hit her.

Nozomi was teasing her, again.

And she didn’t stop.

As they repacked Eli’s baggage Nozomi made small quips about the indiscretions that Alisa might have done, giggling throughout.

“There. All set.”

Eli took her bags, put on her coat and opened the door.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night.”

“Hey anytime.”

_I don’t want to leave._

Would a hug be too much? Or too little? They had slept in the same bed, so were they close. Eli wanted to think so. But when Nozomi made no start to come close Eli slowly backed away, gently closing the door.

She walked the length of the apartment row to the staircase, her emotions jumbled.

_I don’t want to leave you alone… ever… but how can I tell you… do you even want that?_

She walked down the stairs, feeling heavy. On the ground, she looked up to where Nozomi’s apartment was and whispered:

“I like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was informed of a bit of an emergency so this might not be as polished, but emergencies require a bit of urgency.


	10. Christmas surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With christmas approaching, Eliäs looking forward to her and Alisa's trip to visit their grandmother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is highly recommended to read "Love at first first" chapters 14 and 15, to get the entire context.

Nozomi’s words didn’t leave her alone.

_Makes you wonder what they did on her bed for it to land there._

No. Alisa wouldn’t. She was caring, careful and smart. And they were sisters and best friends. Alisa had figured out that Eli had something for Nozomi, She pushed her to get closer, then she’d lost her key and suggested Eli stay with Nozomi… wait… it all fit too neatly.

“Alisa?”, Eli called through the house, “could you come here?”

There was a small bang and Alisa came running down the stairs to the living room.

“Sis?”, Alisa asked, looking at Eli questionly.

“Sit down.”, she patted the sofa seat next to her, “I need to ask you something.”

Dutifully Alisa sat down, worry playing on her expressions.

“You’re not in trouble, but I need to know something. Did something happen when you were at the Kousaka’s? Specifically with Yukiho?”

Alisa’s eyes shot from Eli to the floor.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. We were just studying together, eating together, taking baths, sleeping together.”, her hands shot to her mouth.

Eli gently pulled Alisa to her.

“Ok, what’s with that reaction?”

“Nothing.”

“Alisochka. Don’t lie. It’s me, it’s ok. Just tell me.”, Eli hugged her sister speaking softly.

Alisa wiggled a bit.

“Well, you know that I’d dropped the key?”

Eli nodded.

“I hadn’t. It was in my pocket, I just wanted to spend some more time there and for you to get some time with Nozomi.”

“Alisochka. What would you have done if Nozomi wasn’t such a good person and didn’t want me around?”

“Then I would have found it in the car. I just wanted…”, Alisa began to sob.

Eli held her little sister closer.

“Hey… it’s ok. I’m not mad.”, she said, gently stroking Aliaa’s hair.

Truth, she was a bit upset at the deceit, but she thought she understood some of Alisa’s reasoning. It took a bit for Alisa to settle down, so Eli waited.

When Alisa had calmed down, Eli asked:

“Yukiho’s fun?”

“She’s great. She’s good in school and helps me when I don’t get something, her family is super nice and she’s so warm.”

Eli considered her next question carefully.

“You know that both of you could get in trouble if you do anything you’re too young for.”

Shock flashed over Alisa’s face.

“What? But I don’t want to get her into trouble! She’s so nice to me and doesn’t mind when I hug her and she tastes really good.”, Alisa was rambling.

“Alisa?!?”, Eli almost jumped up.

“She does, that lip gloss she has tastes of strawberries, it makes me think of the summer. Is… is… that wrong?”, Eli could feel Alisa was close to tears again.

_Lip gloss. Puh._

“No, it’s ok. But you need to make sure that Yukiho is ok with it too. It’s important that both of you feel ok about everything. And you can always ask me about things, ok?”

“Ok”, Alisa hugged Eli, “You’re the best, sis. What about Nozomi?”

“Huh? Well… for once I could sleep when it was dark. She held me, and.. it was so nice.”

Alisa seemed to consider this for a moment.

“So… you like her then?”

No point denying it was there?

“Yeah, but I don’t know… what if it’s only me being stupid and she doesn’t like me?”

“The way you talk about her I think she might. But you’re smart. You’ll know. Just do your best!”, Alisa smiled at her.

* * *

The preparations for Eli’s and Alisa’s Christmas trip to their grandmother had been proceeding as planned with flight, train and other things covered. It was a long trip but the prospect seeing their grandmother again made both sisters very happy. Eli felt that she’d finally found a place at the school, but the thought of leaving Nozomi all alone really didn’t sit right with her.

_But what can I do? There’s no way I can ask her to come along, besides, it’s too late now._

She’d spoken to Alisa about it, but her little sister had just nodded and hugged her, saying to would be all right to comfort her. But Eli knew there was no way around it. Nozomi would be alone.

She was walking aimlessly through the hallways of Otonokizaka waiting for Nozomi to walk with her from school. Her phone rang, a Russian number, her Grandmother.

“Yes grandmother?”, she answered in Russian.

“Elichka? Alisochka told me about your friend.”, the voice answered in japanese, “Is it true that she’ll be on her own over the holidays?”

“Yes. I don’t really know her family, but they seem to be working overseas and havn’t been with her for the past years.”, Eli briefly wondered if it was ok to reveal such personal information.

“I see.”, replied the voice, “You wouldn’t be happy when you’re here, you’d be worrying about her.”

“Of course I’d be happy. I get to see you. I can still call her and chat…”

“Elichka. I know you well enough to know that she’d be on your mind and that you’d rather spend time with her than me.”

“No-No I do want to

“Elichka! Listen to me. You know how I love having you both here and that you girls are very special to me. That’s why I’m saying that you should spend time with her.”

“But-Grandma I can’t just-“, Eli protested.

“Yes, you can. You’re always watching out for Alisochka, it’s time to look to yourself a bit more.”

“I..but what if Mom and Dad-“ Eli continued.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it?”, Eli was close to shouting.

“I mean that I will take care of them so they can’t hurt Alisa. They still have respect for me, they’re still her parents, they are not demons.”

“Of course they aren’t..”, Eli’s voice was bitter.

“Will Alisa be okay with this?”, she asked.

“She’s the one that suggested it. But you can’t tell your friend.”

“Wait are you serious?”

“I am. You should give Alisochka a bit more credit, almost as sharp a head as you dear. Remember: you can’t tell your friend.”

“Okay well..if you’re sure about this.”

“I am. I want nothing more than to see you happy, it’s been so rough and you’ve been a guardian angel for your little sister. But she worries about you too. There will be more trips, maybe even with a new visitor”, her grandmother chuckled.

“Okay then. I’ll see you another time then. Love you.”

“Please don’t worry. Alisochka and I will be fine. Love you too Elichka!”, and the matriarch of the Ayase family hung up.

* * *

Eli was again standing outside of Nozomi’s apartment building. Elevator still broken. Great.

Her phone vibrated.

Алиса: Boarding now!

Алиса: *picture attached*

Мне: Stay safe kay?

Мне: You got the Russian number set up?

Алиса: I’m not an idiot obv I did that

Мне: Ouch that’s some bite

Мне: Let me know when you arrive tho

Мне: Oh and tell grandma I miss her

Алиса: Will do!

Алиса: Have fun ;)

Мне: I’m starting to worry you’ve entered puberty

Алиса: H a h a

Алиса: Gotta go now!

Алиса: Yeet!

Eli saved the picture and sent Nozomi a message:

Мне: _(picture attached)_

Мне: Boarding time!

The answer came quick.

Nozomi: You’re flying on christmas eve?

Мне: Only available slots.

Nozomi: You shoukda told me when you’re going! I coulda accompanied you! :( All I’m doing today is stayin’ home I woulda had the time.”

Eli felt horrible keeping the charade up, carrying her suitcase up the stairs, arriving on Nozomi’s floor.

Мне: Sorry, forgot.

She rolled the suitcase on the landing, stopping at Nozomi’s door and rang the doorbell.

A few agonizing seconds later Nozomi opened the door and froze, disbelief plain on her face.

“Eli?!”

“Uh... Surprise?”, Eli waved her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, I'm prepping for a presentation on thurday for a job, so I'll be writing a bit less next week.


	11. Scenes at the club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli and Nozomi go to the club for an evening.

Eli and Nozomi walked through the Tokyo night towards their goal, the club. Already from a distance the low hums of bass tones slipping out of the building informed them that the evening had begun.  
Turning a corner they saw they entrance with an orderly queue forming.

_Ahh, he’s working tonight. Would have been slightly more work otherwise…_

“<Yo, Terry>”, she shouted in English as they got closer.

The man, a big, muscular black man in a suit ´, turned towards them.

“Добрый вечер, Miss Eli”, he answered in Russian, his voice carrying a slight lisp, “You going in? That your date?”, he inquired pointing at Nozomi, continuing in English.

“What if I said I was?”, Nozomi answered back in English.

“No disrespect, Miss. Miss Eli here has never brought anyone here with her.”, he bowed slightly, “If you’re with her, the same curtesy extends we extend to her applies to you of course.”

They’d walking arm in arm until the came to the door, so it was understandable that Terry thought so.

_Would Nozomi be ok if I…_

Eli felt Nozomi hugging her arm, sparking a slight blush on Eli’s cheeks.

“I am. Really.”, Nozomi said, hugging Eli’s arm tighter.

Terry looked at the display, then smiled.

“Either you’re a very good liar or you’re really sweet on Miss Eli. Get in you two, no charge. And check in with the boss, Miss Eli. You know she needs to know you’re here for the evening.”  
“Th-Thanks Terry,”, Eli said as her brain recovered from the embarrassment and they walked in.

Inside, the light were low, and music thumped from the dancefloor. Eli looked at one of the screens near the bar.

“Hey, check it.”, she pointed at point listed, “quite the night.”

The screen read:

_Tonight:_

_Guest DJ: Dia Kurosawa_

_Wedding_

_New Year’s ring_

Nozomi nodded.  
Eli pointed at the bar.

“Stay here. I need to check in with the owner so we can drink. Don’t want the place to loose its license. Be right back.”, she waved and made her way to the back rooms, the path quite familiar. She opened a door marked _Staff_ and continued down the corridor, greeting the occasional staff she met. She stopped in front of the door marked _Manager_. Just as she raised her hand to knock she heard a _Come in_ from the other side. Eli opened the door and stepped in.

The gray-haired woman on the other side of the desk smiled warmly at Eli.

“Eli… welcome. Terry said you’d be coming by. Glad you did so directly.”  
“Don’t want to land this place in trouble, you know that.”, Eli nodded.  
“Terry also said you had someone with you. She special?”  
“Ehh…”  
“Don’t lie.”  
“Fine. Yeah. I like her.”  
“You told her?”  
“You nuts? I have no idea what she feels… it’s… complicated.”  
“With you, I’m surprised you ain’t knocked her to ground yet.”  
“Ohh trust me.. she’d win… in the end.”  
“She a fighter?”  
“She decked a guy twice her size with a few hits in Paris.”  
“Oh wow, That’s heavy. Anything else?”  
“Nah, I beat up a thief in switz…”  
“Not that… with her?”, the owner interrupted.  
“She… makes me feel safe... and she smells nice.”, Eli’s eyes sank to the floor, her cheeks growing redder.

_Dammit, we shouldn’t have had those drinks before we left._

The owner looked Eli over.

“You got it bad… just make sure no one else takes her first.”  
“Yeah…”  
“On that note, you’d better get to the bar right now”, the owner said, looking at one of the monitors on her desk. I’ll let the bar know it’s fine and that you’re my personal guests for the night. All included.”

Eli looked at the owner in disbelief.

“What?”, she asked, confused.  
“You heard me. It’s on the house. Now get out of here.”, she waved at Eli.  
“Ehh, thanks.”, Eli bowed and hurried out of the room.

* * *

“ _Ai_ ’m telling you, if you’re looking for a good time, just _Ai_ magine it… us striding across a starlit Tokyo.”

Eli knew that voice, she rounded the corner to see a blonde girl, lifting Nozomi’s chin with a delicate finger, the golden eyes hungry.

_Oh no you’re not._

Eli embraced Nozomi from behind, balancing on one leg, putting the other across Nozomi’s, Putting her head on Nozomi’s shoulder.

“Sorry Ai.”, Eli gently bit the tip of Nozomi’s ear, “She’s mine!”

Eli felt for a moment how Nozomi stiffened.

“Aww Eli… what a pity, but… you have an _Ai_ to pick’em.”, she lifted her hands in the air.  
“If Eli is mean, you can always come to sister Ai to calm you, alr _ai_ t?”, she giggled and walked on towards the music. Eli slowly entangled herself from Nozomi.

Eli sighed.

“Who is she?”  
“Ai? She’s flirt and good at it. If she’d only stop for a second with those puns she might get somewhere.”  
“Yeah, they were pretty bad. So, we good?”  
“Better. Owner is picking up the tab.”  
“Wha?”  
“Whatever we want, within reason probably, is on the house.”  
“You must have buttered her up good.”

Eli thought of her conversation with the owner.

“She... she was just in a good mood. Ready?”  
“You bet, first: drinks.”

They ordered their first round.

* * *

Drinks gave way to snacks and snacks to a round on the dancefloor. The guest DJ, an almost ethereal presence with sharp green eyes and strict hair, knew her stuff, mixing in Japanese EDM and trance with American and European electro club music. Next her, a blond and a blunette were dancing on opposite end of the stage, riling up the crown, occasionally sending kisses to each other and the DJ.  
Eli couldn’t tear her eyes from Nozomi. Her movements, never wasting any energy, precise and expressive, mesmerized her. Eli was technically the better dancer, but her expression was strong in elegance and execution. Nozomi danced as for a competition. Or a war.

 _We're way too desperate, Way too addicted_ came out of the speakers

The amount of people steadily increased, pushing them towards the walls, where there was still space.  
Suddenly Eli felt herself pushed against the nearest wall, her temper started to flare before she saw who had pushed her.  
Nozomi’s arm slammed in the wall next to Eli. Her face taking up all of Eli’s vision, her eyes looking deep into Eli’s.

_Not like this… I don’t want it to be like this…_

Nozomi leant in… and kissed her softly on the cheek.

“Thank you.”, she said over the music into Eli’s ear.

_For what? I should be the one to…_

Eli’s thoughts were interrupted when Nozomi gently pulled her from the wall and into a hug.

_Why do I feel so safe… why can’t I just tell her... why am I so afraid?_

\--

It was familiar, yet totally different. The white walls of toilet stall, the smell of cleaner, perfume, sweat and booze. Nothing offensive, just stables of the locale they were in.

Eli tried to process what was happening. Nozomi had, on Eli showing her around the parts of the club, they’d not seen gotten a devilish grin when they came to the toilets. She’d wordlessly dragged Eli inside on of the stalls, placing her on the closed seat.

She had said “My turn.” and had placed herself in Eli’s lap facing her. Eli had felt completely taken by the entire display and had started to blush, unable to move. Then, as Nozomi opened the top button on Eli’s shirt and had leant towards her neck, Eli understood.

Moments later she felt Nozomi’s soft lips sucking on her neck, Eli’s mind went blank, focusing entirely on the sensation. It was aggressive yet gentle, Nozomi’s lips grabbing on to Eli’s neck, not letting go. She could feel Nozomi’s tongue drawling circles and occasionally poking her skin. It was so hot she was losing her mind.  
Eli’s arms took hold of Nozomi, one arm pulling her closer, the other gently pressing her head against the neck. Eli’s breath was ragged, her open mouth letting out small moans.

“ _Nozomi…_ ”, she managed to get out.

Then Nozomi bit down. Sparks fired in Eli’s intoxicated brain and she immediately changed her hands to dig into Nozomi’s back. The more she pushed her fingers like claws into Nozomi, the more intense the bite became, the sensation of a tongue flicking the lifted skin causing no end to the light show.

Then it was all over.

Nozomi got up from Eli, who immediately felt alone and cold with her hand trailing down Nozomi’s back.

“Beautiful.”, Nozomi said smiling. Eli wasn’t sure what she was talking about, her mind still in a haze.

* * *

The music slowly faded, and the stage light returned to their strong white shine. Eli and Nozomi stood against one of the walls, drinks in hand. The hours of dancing, and borderline shameless goings on leaving them parched.

The owner walked out on the stage with a microphone.

“Friends, lovers and all you beautiful people. Welcome to the last club night of the year. In a few days we turn to another year. But before that, we have one very special occasion to celebrate. A union.”

Eli tuned out, not having that much interest in the proceedings, mostly because she couldn’t focus on the happy couple. People she’d seen at the club. Her thoughts instead went to imagine herself on that stage and next to her…. Nozomi.

_I haven’t even told her how I feel, and I imagine this… come on Eli… what if she’s not into me? I’ve been dropping hints like crazy. But… her and me… would be nice… shit I’m too drunk for this._

Her thoughts were disrupted by Nozomi leaning her head against Eli’s shoulder and taking her hand.

“Nice, ain’t it?”, she said softly.  
“Yeah. Amazing to be able to say it in front of so many.”  
“Mmmh.”

A moment of silence came between them, their eyes locked together.

_BANG!_

The sudden noise snapped them out of their reverie. From the stage, confetti rained down on the crowd.

_Damn!_

* * *

“Sure you don’t want to try it?”, Nozomi asked with a smirk.  
“That? Are you insane? Everyone… will be looking.”  
“Jealous?”  
“Screw you… Fine. You go first then.”  
“Be sure to watch me.”, Nozomi said with a wink.

She positioned herself next to the pole and first tested it. Steady, it would hold. Jumping up, she grabbed on, slowly lifting herself perpendicular to the pole.

_Just how strong is she…_

Eli could see that Nozomi’s movements, while catching the crowd, were the ones of a fighter, not a dancer. The fluidity of her motions, the way her arms constantly shifted and she kept her balance were all signs. But she did have a sense of rhythm. Shifts came in measures of beats, the body contorting in and out of itself. There was one thing that however never changed; where Nozomi looked. Straight at Eli, even when there were shouts or whistles. This was a show for Eli, no one else.

Eli didn’t know how long she’d been watching, suddenly it was over, Nozomi dismounted and held up her hand in a high-five.

“Your turn.”

Eli approached the pole. She could do this. Just think of it as a vertical bar. She set her bare feet against it and climbed up, locking her legs around it as she reached the top and swivelled down, head towards the floor. Eli spun, thinking back to her outburst earlier, she’d been unfair. Nozomi, while teasing her, would never mock her. This was for her. She would win her praise. It would be ok. She would tell her she was fine. She’d win her approval.

Eli improvised, spinning, doing acrobatics, and finally vaulted off. She’d kept her eyes on Nozomi all the time, searching for a sign of a reaction. She’d just stared at Eli. As Eli approached her, Nozomi jumped her, hugging her tightly.

“Nozomi?”  
“You’re amazing. You’re just… wow!”

Eli fought to hold the tears back, the alcohol not doing her any favours.

“Th- thanks.”, she managed to say.

The something happened that Eli had not expected. Nozomi briefly let go, gently grabbed Eli’s head and brought it forward…

_We’re going to…._

… placing a kiss on Eli’s forehead.

_So soft…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dia being a DJ actually mirrors what her VA does, she does DJ sets at conventions. 
> 
> Originally the dancefloor part was going to be more elaborate with more direct references to the tracks played, but it ended up being more self-gratification for me than for the character, so I cut it down to almost nothing. I do have a complete playlist for her set though if anyone is interested. Contains some fripside of course. 
> 
> Instead I opted for a 'highlight-reel' style. They did have quite a few drinks so their memory is, if you read 'Love at first fight' i bit hazy. Maybe they will remember more later on, who knows. The club does have a photographer for the events.


	12. High light reel of days past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time slows as Eli realized this might be the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during/after the chapter "Parents" in "Love of first fight"

There is a saying that, before you die, your life flashes in front of your eyes.  
For Eli Ayase, part of this was true, she didn’t so much see her life but high-lights of the events of the past days play out as time slowed to a crawl, barely moving forward, the fist that was on its way to impact with her body, frozen.

* * *

The gong had struck midnight, a year had ended, a new one begun. And she, Eli Ayase, was kissing Nozomi Tojo. It was messy. It was hasty. It was shy. And it was amazing. And then it had been over. Eli’s mind screamed of joy, but her voice was stuck. She had looked at Nozomi, hoping that she would understand what she could not ask. Nozomi had nodded. Eli had gripped Nozomi’s tie and pulled her towards herself and had placed her lips on Nozomi’s again. And again. And again.  
No matter if she pulled on the tie or let go, Nozomi was right there, kissing her. Eli’s hands had alternated between pulling Nozomi towards her and exploring the body through the fabric, eliciting small whines when she left the sensitive places. And Eli had felt hands on her too, grabbing, holding, squeezing, teasing. She’d lost count, but it didn’t matter. The girl she liked, the girl she wanted to be with was kissing her. That was the only thing that mattered.

“I take it…”, Nozomi gasped, Eli’s hand having touched another sensitive place, “… you like me?”

Eli had almost laughed, but she knew better. Humour was not the answer, maybe sarcasm.

“No Nozomi. I kissed you because I want to stay only friends.”, she’d answered.

Nozomi had seemed worried, but that quickly dissipated after a few more questions until the most important one had come, hesitantly.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Eli had hesitated, she didn’t know why. Dramatic effect? Uncertainty? But Eli had no doubts, she wanted this, she had wanted this for so long, only to think that maybe there wasn’t anything but physical attraction, but the questions didn’t mean that. It meant there was an emotional investment, a desire, not only fuelled by bodily desire, but also mental desire. Eli had only had one answer:

“Fuck yes!”

* * *

The picture show continued with the hours they’d spent exploring and pleasuring each other's bodies in the bedroom, gifts coming in handy and garments proving a welcome tool. In between the trysts, gentle moments of hugs, kisses and words of feelings and emotions laid bare, very much like their own naked forms.

The had woken up in the afternoon, light streaming in through the window, sore and happy. Eli had confessed she had been carrying a torch for her for months, just as Nozomi had. Their own insecurities stopping them from taking the leap. But that was over now, they were together.

Eli had known that at one point, she would have to have to go, Nozomi’s parents were coming. She didn’t want to, but her being there… would that not make things harder for Nozomi? But, Nozomi herself had given her the answer to her worry.

“Please stay.”, she whispered, holding Eli as close as she could.

For Eli, the answer was a given. There was no doubt.

“Then I’ll be right beside you.”, she had kissed Nozomi, “I always will be”.

* * *

Time was starting to make waves, the fist moved, its trajectory unchanged.

* * *

Eli had asked a simple question:

“Why do you treat your daughter like a cadet? She’s a high-schooler.”

Hell had come marching in after that. Nozomi’s parents had shouted. Eli had shouted back. She had to defend Nozomi, her girlfriend from these parents, the feelings she had towards her own fuelling her rage. But Eli knew, the moment she attacked, it would be over. So, she didn’t. She wanted to show Nozomi that she had control, she wanted to show her that she was not thug, but a person that cared so much she’d stand up to her, even if the odd were against her. Nozomi’s parent were imposing and Eli was intimidated, but she would not back down. For Nozomi anything that happened to Eli was ok but to let Nozomi live with these sorry excuses for parents…

A hand grabbed her by the throat and pushed her into a wall. Nozomi’s father.

_The only way to know someone is to fight him, that is when you see the real person._

Eli smirked.

_Showing your true colours…_

Nozomi had stepped in, declaring her feelings, her wants and her dreams to them. They had ignored it, instead searching for the fault and found one: Eli.

* * *

The fist was coming closer. Eli felt something she hardly ever felt. Fear. Pure, simple fear. She knew that when she was struck, it would most likely injure her badly. The follow up would seal the deal. No more her.  
She didn’t want to go. She had Alisa to take care of and now she had a girlfriend who she loved. She was afraid. Very afraid. And the only thing she could do was to watch the fist as it came closer.

As Eli counted what she was convinced were to be her final thoughts, her vision became blocked. She never saw the impact, only the effect as Nozomi’s body buckled and flew backwards into the wall next to Eli, the sick cracking of wood or bone filling all available space for sound.

Nozomi had stepped in front of her, Nozomi had taken the hit meant for her. She’d saved her. Eli’s mind started to speed up again, slowing time around her, as she moved in front of Nozomi with her arms outstretched, screaming.

“ _NOZOMI!!!”_

Eli saw no immediate reaction. She turned towards Nozomi’s parent who in shock were backing away.

“ _GET OUT! GE AWAY FROM HER! GET OUT! NOW! YOU MONSTERS!”_

Their replies were lost in her own screams. But they backed away, stumbling into the hallway and finally closing the door behind them. Her energy expended, Eli fell to her knees and crawled to Nozomi.

“Nozomi? Nozomi! _NOZOMI!”_

No reaction. Eli saw Nozomi’s neck twitch, a pulse. The doorbell started to ring, Eli ignored it. Then she heard the door open, she got to her feet and spun round, holding her arm out to protect Nozomi, but instead of Nozomi’s parents she saw the old lady from next door. Her expression was worried.

“Excuse the intrusion, I live next door and I heard the commotion and the shouting, and I got worried about Nozomi-chan and when I opened the door those two others ran away...”, she saw Nozomi’s crumpled body on the floor, “my gods, what happened?”

Eli couldn’t hold her tears any longer and turned back to Nozomi.

“She put herself in front of me… she protected me… from her own parents… she… “

The old lady nodded. Putting a comforting arm around Eli.

“We have to get her to a hospital. I’ll call an ambulance.”  
“No.”  
“What? But she needs…”  
“I know. I know someone. If we go to a hospital… her parents…”  
“Serves them right for hitting their child, I say!”  
“No. Please. She wouldn’t want that.”  
“But… she needs medical attention.”  
“I know… I… please… my phone, there… on the counter…”

The old lady retrieved the device while Eli stayed with Nozomi caressing her face.

“Here.”  
“Unlock it like so… and in the contact list, look for Nishikino, there is only one in there.”  
“Nishikino, but isn’t that…?”  
“She’s friend, a medical friend. And put it on speaker.”

Eli heard the ringtone, then the call connected.

“Eli?”  
“Maki, I need help.”  
“Shit Eli, what did you do?”  
“Not me, my… ehh… my friend. Can you come?”  
“I can do that, where?”

Eli gave the address.

“Ok, I’ll keep you on the phone… _yes, right now. 2 minutes? I’ll be right out_. Ok, you got a pulse?”  
“Yes.”  
“Steady?”  
“Yepp.”  
“Good. What happened?”  
“She took a hit for me… a powerful one”  
“Where?”  
“Living room.”  
“Not the room, the hit.”  
“Chest.”  
“Ok, I’d rather check some other things first but, try to move her carefully to a bed or a sofa. It’s important you don’t move the back or neck too much. If you can’t, don’t move her at all. As long as she breathes and you see a pulse and no strange discoloration on the lips it should be ok till I get there.”  
“I can help you.”, the old lady said.  
“Who’s that?”  
“The neighbour”  
“Don’t care. Keep checking that she’s breathes and that there is a pulse. I’ll be there in… _how long? 12 minutes? Thanks…_ 12 minutes.”  
“The elevator might be out.”  
“Shit… 15 then.”, Maki sighed, “Eli, try to tell me what happened.”

Eli explained, interlacing with sobs

“Ok, I think I get it, but just… what are her parents?”  
“Military hand-to-hand combat instructors.”  
“I bet your girl knew how to mitigate the blow, she would have to.”  
“Maybe.”  
“Any changes?”

Eli gently pressed her forehead to Nozomi’s.

“Breathing steady, pulse is ok, no fever.”  
“Good. Coming up on the building now… all those stairs. Be there soon. Keep it together Ayase.” And Maki hung up.

“I’ll stay until she’s here. Don’t want to leave you all alone.”  
“You know…”, the old woman continued, “You must mean the world to her if she did that for you. And I think she means the same to you.”

Eli blinked, wiping her tears away.

“She does.”, Eli smiled weakly,” She’s… amazing. All I don’t deserve.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“I… I’m not a good person… I pick fights, I’m vulgar, I disrespect, I…”  
“Sounds like me when I was your age.”

_Huh?_

“I used to be a bit of a wild one, thankfully my daughter never became like that, but I think one of my grandchildren has a bit of an energy problem. No stopping Honoka. Wish she’d turn that to run the bakery.”  
“Bakery? Honoka? Homura?”  
“Why yes, you know it?”  
“Of course, my sister is friends with Yukiho.”  
“Alisa-chan is your sister?”  
“Yes.”

The old woman chuckled.

“Small world. And here you are, in love with Nozomi-chan.”  
“I never said…”  
“I know.”, she smiled.

The doorbell rang and the door opened. Maki kicked off her shoes and walked in, surveying the scene.

“I’ll leave you to it. If you need anything, I’m right next door.”. the old woman got up and left. Maki nodded as she passed her.  
Maki knelt down, checking Nozomi’s legs, back and neck without moving her. She let out a sigh of relief.

“No injuries there as far as I can see, but we need to be careful with the chest. Can you get her to her bed without compressing her?”  
“I’ll goddam try.”

Some 15 minutes later, Nozomi had been placed on her bed, curtesy of an ironing board and several boxes.

“If she weren’t out.”, Maki said, “she’d be in a lot of pain, speaking about that…”, she took out a vial and a syringe from her backpack, “This will help with the pain when she wakes up. It’s very rare to be allergic to this. And don’t worry, she’s only unconscious, probably due to intense pain. No chock.”

She emptied the syringe of air and carefully administered it.  
Eli couldn’t tear her eyes from Nozomi.

“You’re sweet on her.”, Maki asked plainly.

_No use to deny it._

“Yeah.”  
“When she wakes up, I almost expect you to propose to her.”  
“Hey.”, Eli protested, “it’s only been a couple of days.”  
“I don’t really care.”, Maki stood up, “I’m going to check what medical supplies we have apart from my bag. You keep watch.”

Eli knew, that Maki was giving her time to figure out herself. If you met Maki Nishikino normally she would come off as cold, quick to anger and prideful, but Eli knew it was something else, Maki had never had the chance of a normal childhood, so she couldn’t handle her own emotions well, she probably didn’t understand them either. But she was brilliant, and she cared, even though her words didn’t make you think it.

Eli kept looking at Nozomi, gently moving hair out of her face and caressing her cheek. She looked so peaceful, as if asleep. Well, technically, she was.

_Why did you do that? It should have been me, not you. Wonderful, wonderful Nozomi. Why? Why don’t they see you like I do? Why can’t they accept it that you’re not a recruit to be trained, but a daughter to love? I do… I… love you… Why do they remind me of my parents… why… such people…_

Tears silently fell on the sheets. All Eli could do now was wait, holding Nozomi’s hand in hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the idea of a "life flashing before your eyes" moment for Eli.


	13. just happy accidents

She sat, watching. Laying on the bed next to her, the object of her affection rested. Long, deep breaths caused the chest to rise and fall like the tide. Eli had a hard time watching this peaceful scene and not feel an amount of sadness and anger.

_I will never forgive them._

“Ugh.”

_She’s waking up. Nozomi!_

“Nozomi?”

Her eyes opened, looking around, trying to find an anchor. She kept her eyes on Eli, slowly raising herself to sit.

“Shit that hurts.”  
“Don’t overdo yourself.”

Eli grabbed a glass of water, helping Nozomi to drink the contents.

“How long was I out?”  
“An hour or so. Your mom is terrifyingly strong.”  
“Combine that with anger issues and you have my parents all described.”, Nozomi laughed, grimacing.

_I shouldn’t have… I’m responsible… I did this…_

“I’m so sorry...”Eli muttered, replacing the icepack, “I shouldn’t have provoked them like that.”  
“No, no, don’t do that.” Nozomi shook her head, “You did great.”

Nozomi took Eli’s hands, stopping Eli’s shakes.

“I would never had had the guts to say any of those things without you helping me.”  
“But-“  
“Shh Eli, no blamin’. My parents get riled up too easily...it works when training but well...not so well in domestic life.”

Eli heard Maki stepping in.

_Shit I didn’t tell her._

“Okay, I got everything we nee-ah she’s awake.”, the redhead, shooting a glance at Eli.  
“Who...is that?”

Eli looked away, feeling guilty for letting someone into Nozomi’s home without asking first.

_It was an emergency, and I didn’t want a hospital, please understand._

“A friend of mine.”  
“Nishikino Maki.”, Maki introduced herself.  
“Can I open your shirt?”, she asked as she knelt down at the bed.  
“I...I guess?”

Maki quickly unbuttoned the blouse, pressing a stethoscope on Nozomi’s chest.

“Inhale, exhale you know the drill.”, she commanded.  
“Nothing wrong there.”, Maki said after a few breaths, packing away the instrument.

“I already checked for head injuries...though now that you’re awake..” she took out a flashlight.  
“Eyes open!”, she said, checking the eyes reaction, “Pupil dilation normal, probably no head injury.  
Can you sit up?”

Eli helped Nozomi up.

“Okay good...wiggle your toes. You don’t have nerve damage I don’t think..Head seems fine.” Maki confirmed.  
“Lastly...”, she said, prodding Nozomi’s chest, then lifting the ice pack, revealing a large dark purple bruise.  
“That looks painful...” She whistled lowly and prodded it.  
“Shit...” Nozomi hissed, a grimace of pain playing across her face.  
“Hurt worse than a bruise?”

Nozomi nodded.

“Yeah...you probably fractured a rib. It doesn’t feel fully broken-and trust me you would feel that as well-but it’s not okay either.”, Maki sighed, digging in her backpack, then handing Nozomi a bottle of painkillers, Eli recognized them.

_Wow, you don’t mess around with your meds._

“Take one if it’s too bad. Don’t put pressure on your chest and breathe deeply.”, she said, putting back the ice pack, “And especially keep cooling for now...I wouldn’t recommend getting out of bed for today honestly.”

Maki stood up and handed two cooling packs to Eli.

“Thanks Maki.”  
“It’s nothing..” Maki smiled a bit uncomfortably, “Call me if you need anything.”

Eli stood up, walking Maki to the door.

“Again thanks. I’m sorry I dragged you all this way.”  
“Really, it’s nothing. Haven’t seen you this concerned and sweet on anyone before. You serious?”  
“Yeah.”  
“And she?”  
“Mm”, Eli nodded.  
“You did it, didn’t you?”  
“Maki! You’re underage, you shouldn’t…”  
“Relax, I just know the technical stuff. Go easy on her, ok? She needs rest.”  
“Sure. Thanks. Bye”, she closed the door as Maki stepped out, raising her phone to her ear.

_Hope you click too some day. If someone has the tenacity to get through that armour of yours._

Eli walked back to the bedroom.

“I thought it best not to go to the hospital. Too many questions.”, Eli said as she sat back down.  
“Where do you know the Nishikino heiress from?”

_Guess I better tell her. Not my proudest moment._

“She once found me beat up pretty badly about a year ago and helped me. We’ve been... acquaintances? Friends? since then.” Eli blushed as she explained.

The conversation shifted to Nozomi’s parents, Eli trying to figure out why they’d hurt Nozomi after she’d put herself between her and Eli, realizing that Nozomi’s parents weren’t really right to be parents. Too much penned up emotions, too much prestige and too much aggression. Eli was just happy that Nozomi was a better person.

“… no mistakes, just happy accidents…”, Eli said at one point.  
“Quoting Bob Ross? Seriously?”  
“Don’t tell me you’ve never wasted an afternoon watching him.”, Eli said, shocked.  
“I only know from memes who he is.”, Nozomi shook her head

Eli looked at her, disbelief spreading through her, but she quickly collected herself.

_It’s time then. Time for the ultimate in video relaxation._

“Well then-we have to fix that!”  
“Now?”  
“Now. If there’s ever a time you needed to relax, it has fucking come.”

Three hours later, evening was turning into night.

“Now that you’ve gotten all relaxed, we should head to bed.”, Eli said, stretching.

It had been quite the day, Eli was tired, Nozomi was hurt and the world just felt weird apart from one thing, she had her girlfriend next to her. That made it all good.  
She changed into one of Nozomi’s PJs, the garment feeling both short and to big at the same time.

_I stripped without thinking. Is this what being comfortable with another person is like? When you’re not embarrassed to be yourself, body and soul in front of them?_

“Do you need help with that?”, Eli asked, gesturing at Nozomi’s clothes.  
“Yep.”

_Oh you just want my hands on you….well, I don’t mind._

“If you want me to undress you, just tell me.”  
“Now where would the fun be in that?”

Eli tugged at Nozomi’s pants and with a little wriggling Nozomi was out of them. Eli let her hands stroke the exposed legs a bit.

“Though I do probably actually need help with the top.” Nozomi said as she tried to take it off.  
“Now that I believe.”, Eli said, seeing Nozomi struggle.

_Poor Nozomi._

Eli started unbuttoning Nozomi’s shirt.

“Need help with the bra?”  
“This would be easier with a front hooking one.”, Nozomi sighed.

Eli lent behind Nozomi, unhooked it and leant back.

_You are so beautiful. I could look at this for hours without getting bored, but feeling her close…_

She shamelessly eyed Nozomi’s exposed chest. Nozomi didn’t seem to mind.

“I’d make sexual comments if you weren’t in pain.”, Eli said, helping Nozomi with a loose nightgown and replacing the cooling pack.  
“Being invalid does dampen the mood a bit.”

Eli slipped into bed, next to Nozomi, taking care not to go against the injury.

“Snuggling is alright too though.”, Nozomi said, earning her a smile from Eli and interlacing their fingers.  
“Gnight Eli.”  
“Good Night. Tell me if you need anything during the night.”  
“Will do.”


	14. the phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli helps Nozomi making the call for freedom and payback.

_Why can’t they leave her alone? They didn’t seem to care when they punched her… though... I did scream them out of the flat… crap_

After they had gone to bed, the landline had gone off, Nozomi’s cell phone logs filled with missed calls from her parents. Eli had quickly silenced it. Finally, quiet, they’d gone back to sleep.

As morning came, Eli checked the landline.

_Don’t these ‘people’ know when to quit?_

“73 missed calls here.”  
“Should I call them back?”  
“Depends if you’re ready or not.”

Nozomi exhaled slowly.

“I... I don’t know if I am or not.”

Eli smiled, puting Nozomi’s phone back on the nightstand.

“Then give it a few more hours. Or days. Or weeks, however long you need.”

Eli cupped Nozomi’s face, filling her vision.

“We’re not in a rush.”  
“What if they stop paying for the place?” Nozomi sighed.  
“Then you move in with me.”

_And… I would like that. Alisa would be ok with it too I think. I need to ask her… just in case._

“Simple” Eli shrugged.

Nozomi laughed, getting a teasing quality into her voice.

“Well you aren’t wrong. I mean worst case I go into sex work to earn money.”

_Oh no you don’t._

“I know you’re kidding but I wouldn’t put it past you.”  
“Money is money after all.”  
“But it can be dangerous.”  
“Look don’t ruin my dream of earning money and getting laid daily.”

_I could…_

Eli traced her fingers across Nozomi’s neck, satisfied that she was getting a blush out of her…

“Get a job and I can take care of the second part.”

Nozomi began to laugh, then started to cough but quickly stopped, the rib hurt.

“I-jesus! I’ll take you up on that when my rib is back to normal.”

_Please do. Living with you, sharing your bed every night… I like that thought._

* * *

“Oh! Voice messages too! They’re relentless.”, Eli said, looking at Nozomi’s phone.  
“I guess I should call them back.”  
“You sure?”

_This could be bad, I don’t her to hurt more._

“It’s almost more stressful if they keep calling.”  
“Point taken.”

Eli gave Nozomi the phone, but kept Nozomi’s hand in hers.

“You can do this.”

_I’m here for you, my love._

Eli heard someone answering, but tried not to listen. This was private after all.

“You could have stayed and found out if I was injured.”

Silence on the line.

“My rib is fractured. Nothing drastic.”

“No just my friend.”

_Shit Nozomi… she’d be an icicle with that tone._

“How do you think I’ve been feeling for my entire life?”

The sound changed after a few seconds of silence, her father maybe?

“Angry. If you’d have ever bothered to ask, you’d have known.”

Eli cuddled up closer, sensing the tension that was building up in Nozomi. Eli’s closeness however seemed to calm her down.

“I’ve been chasing after your approval and love for years and never received it. I was furious at myself. For years!”

Eli heard something like a gasp.

“As teachers. And always only in subjects you cared about.”

“You ask that after what your reaction was yesterday?”

Silence.

“I have a question. Why did you have me? You clearly aren’t fit to be parents.”

Silence.

Eli wasn’t sure what she was hearing, crying?

_Wait, what did I just hear? ‘Accident’?_

“Figured.”, Nozomi’s voice was flat.

“Multiple. Abortion-Giving up for adoption?”

“No kidding..”, Nozomi sighed.

“That’s no excuse.”

Silence yet again.

“Now that you don’t need to worry about, she’s been taking care of me...unlike you.”, Nozomi’s voice dripped with anger.

“Yeah she’s been giving me a lot of love.”

_Wait Nozomi, what are you saying… that’s like… mother complex…_

Eli couldn’t help to giggle, holding her free hand in front of her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.

“It’s really, really not paternal love.”

_Oh my… this is… wow Nozomi._

“She doesn’t have an oedipus complex.”

_You basically told them we’re having sex…_

Eli stifled another giggle attack.

“They can figure out what that means.”

Eli laughed.

“That...could have gone a lot worse.”  
“Feeling better?” Eli asked.

“A lot. They may still not accept consequences for their own actions and keep making excuses but...I now know why it all happened like it did.”, Nozomi nodded.  
“The accident part doesn’t bother you?”  
“Not really.”  
“Since they chose to keep me, I was a happy accident.”

Nozomi laughed, though muted.

“What if they hadn’t?”, Eli asked.  
“I would have been a foetus and wouldn’t have given a shit either way.”  
“Good point.”, Eli sighed.

She got up from the bed.

“Anyway, now that we’ve had a productive morning of standing up to our shit parents and getting a bit of self-validation, how about we reward ourselves with popcorn and a movie?”


	15. The girl I liked was Russian

“Please take your 341 yen in change.”

The machine spluttered out the appropriate change. Eli took it.

“Thank you for shopping with us today.”  
“Thank you for your service.”, Eli dutifully replied and stepped out of the line.

The convini didn’t have everything, but it had been good enough for the last few ingredients she needed. Eli re-checked her bag… and almost walked head-first into another person. She halted, getting annoyed, but that was dispelled immediately when she saw she’d almost walk straight into Nozomi’s neighbour.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking.”  
“That’s quite ok. Ayase-san. Heading to Nozomi-chan? How is she?”  
“She’s good under the circumstances. Fractured rib so I’m taking care of her.”  
“Then we better not keep her waiting then.”

They started walking.

“Isn’t that heavy? Can I carry it for you?” Eli pointed at the bag Grandmother Kosaka was carrying.  
“Oh this? Don’t you worry about it. It’s just some clothes I picked up from the cleaners. It is not heavy.”

They walked silence for a bit.

“You know, Nozomi never told---“, her phone’s ringtone cut into her sentence.  
“It’s ok. Answer it. Never know if it’s important. We can sit here.”, she pointed at a nearby bench.

_I’d rather get back to Nozomi… but that would be rude and she came running when it happened._

Eli nodded and steered towards the bench. Taking out her phone and seeing the caller ID, she started to worry.

“ _Grandma_?” she answered in Russian.  
“ _It’s me sis_.” Alisa’s voice came through the phone.  
“ _Alisa. Is everything ok? Grandma is keeping mom and dad away?_ ”, Eli asked her worry spiking.  
“ _They’ve already gone back. It’s just us here. So… what happened?_ ”  
“ _What do you mean?_ ”  
“ _With Nozomi!_ ”  
“ _Ohh.. ehh that_ ”, Eli was very happy that she was speaking Russian instead of Japanese, “ _I have a girlfriend._ ”  
“ _Woot. Way to go sis!_ ”  
“ _хорошо_ _. It’s... amazing. But it’s been really crazy too. Can I call you later, Nozomi’s neighbour is with me. Ran into her at the convini_.”  
“ _Oh ahh.. ok. I’ll be back in a few days, still know when?_ ”  
“ _I remember_.”  
“ _Goody. Bye_.”  
“ _Bye_.”

Eli locked and put away the phone, Kosaka-san was staring at her.

“May I ask if that was Russian?”, she asked in Japanese.  
“It was. I’m partly Russian.”  
“I knew a Russian girl in high school, she’d come over here to study because, I think her parents were here with the embassy maybe? Over the years she became really good at the Japanese.”

_It… it can’t be…_

“What high-school did you go to?”  
“Otonokizaka of course. I think her name was…” she smiled and said Eli’s grandmothers name.

_No… but… can it really be?_

“D—Did you know her well?”  
“I’d say so. We were sweet on each other you see, but in those days you couldn’t just say that you liked a girl if you were a girl. It would have been a scandal. So all we could do was keep it secret and meet when we could. Sadly, we lost touch when she moved back.”  
“It is still not looked on favourably everywhere, despite the age. Kosaka-san… that girl… I mean the girl you liked. She… she’s my grandmother. I’m quite certain. Her father worked for the foreign office, in those days one of the only ways to get out of the country. Mail from diplomats regularly got checked for signs of espionage, so maybe that is why she didn’t write. She met my grandfather shortly after returning. She sometime talks about Otonokizaka, she’s very fond of the school, and set up so that Alisa and I could be here. She even taught us some Japanese before we came.”

Eli stood up.

“Maybe you are the reason she’s so fond of the school. It’s special to her. Probably thanks to you.”, she smiled, “Would you tell me of her, from back then?”

Kosaka-san nodded and while they walked back, talked about Eli’s grandmother as a high-school girl; the things they got up to, what they talked about and when they had understood what they felt. Eli could see a resemblance spanning two generations. And she had fallen in love at Otonokizaka too.  
li carried the bag up the stairs and dropped it of inside the door.

“Won’t you come in?” Kosaka-san asked.  
“Not today, Nozomi is probably waiting for me.”  
“She needs someone who loves and cares for her, and I think that is you. Go take care of her. You’re both welcome whenever you want.”  
“Thank you.” Eli bowed, “Goodbye.” and walked over to Nozomi’s door, digging out they keys.

_You never told me grandma, maybe I should mention her sometime when I call._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thhis is just me having some fun with an idea, don't read too much into it.


	16. A family's forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After visiting Honoka in the hospital there is one thing Eli must do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read Love at first Fight - Things are looking up ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940837/chapters/59066305 ) so you get the backstory for this chapter.

_A leg shot out, hooking and lifting the other leg off the ground. Balance lost, the body fell forward, hitting the stairs, rolling down until it came to a stop. As it lay still, she could feel its pain and surprise. Why was this happening? She strained against what was holding her, making her an observer.  
Suddenly she saw legs with spiked shoes surrounding the body and starting to kick it. Harder. Faster. For each hit, fountains of blood gushed forth, like a water play at an amusement park. She heard no cries but her own voice, calling a name, begging whoever was doing the hurting to stop. Someone lifted the body from the ground by the nape of the blood-stain clothes, the head hanging sickly to the side. As she saw the first form, she screamed. It hit the face. Once. Twice. She screamed, calling the name, pleading for to stop, she felt her shackles loosen, she was free, she could save her. With one last push of air she screamed her name._

“ _HONOKA!”_

And woke up, Alisa shaking her.

“Sis. Sis. What’s wrong?”

Eli looked around, out of breath, her body and throat hurting.  
She was in her room, lying in her bed, alone. Alisa was standing next to it, shaking Eli.

“Alisa? What? What’s wrong?”  
“You tell me. You’re tossing, screaming, shouting _Honoka_ and _Don’t hurt her_. You dreamt about the attack?”

Eli had now managed to calm down.

“It was horrible. I could see them, making Honoka fall down the stairs, then they… started to kick her… all that blood… then they punched her in the face…”  
“It was a dream… you’re safe now, she’s safe. No one will hurt her.”  
“It’s… it’s all my fault… if I hadn’t run… if I hadn’t thought I… “  
“Sis, “Alisa was trying to calm Eli, “no one could have known ok? It’s not your fault. You know Honoka herself thinks that too.”  
“But she got hurt… she must hate me… her family… inside…”  
“They know it wasn’t you, they know you didn’t tell anyone to do this, they also know you’re trying to find how did it. And they don’t hate you. I know.”

* * *

**Two days earlier**

Visiting hours were over at the hospital, they gently closed the door to Honoka’s room and left. As the glass double doors of the main entrance slid closed behind them. Eli stopped in her tracks.

_I need to talk to them, to tell them how sorry I am. I AM responsible. If I just hadn’t…_

“What’s the holdup Eli?” Nico asked.  
“Huh? Eh… I need to go… got an errand to run.” Eli said, trying to be as nonspecific as she could.  
“You know, they might not be as forgiving as Honoka.” Nico shot back.  
“Ehh… what?”  
“You’re going to talk to her parents, right Eli?” Nozomi interjected.

_How did they...?_

“It was obvious from when we left.” Nico answered Eli’s thoughts.  
“Then you know I have to.”  
“Want us to come with?”  
“No. I need to do this on my own.”  
“Fine. Go prostrate yourself. Nico won’t be watching. But tell how it went after, ok?”  
“Sure. Talk to you later.”

Arriving at Homura, Eli went around to the residence entrance and rang the bell. After a few moments she heard the thudding of feet, coming closer. The door opened, revealing Honoka’s sister.

“Hello Yukiho-chan.” Eli bowed, “May I please come in, I need to speak to your parents and preferably to you as well.”

Eli raised herself again, the expression on Yukiho’s face unreadable.

“Please come in, Eli-san”, she backed away from the door, letting Eli inside the house. After Eli changed to slippers, Yukiho led her to a room.

“Please wait here.” and closed the panel.

Eli looked around. This was probably their common room. A low table in front of a sofa, tatami and a bookshelf along a wall. She felt anxious, but she had to do this.

_Will they believe me? Honoka does, but… that girl… how could anyone ever want to harm her? And she got hurt because she cares for her friends… I’m guilty in any case… I’m responsible._

The opening of the panel yanked her out of her thoughts. She saw Yukiho, Honoka’s mother, a man she assumed was her father and, to her surprise, grandmother Kosaka.

“Kosaka-sama?” Eli bowed again,” I didn’t know you were here.”  
“Please stop with the _sama_ , I’m not that old. Stand straight. How is Nozomi-chan?”  
“She’s fine. Thanks to you and Maki, she doing well. Her rib is still sensitive, but much better. Thank you.”

Honoka’s mother look at Eli.

“You wanted to speak to all of us?”  
“I do.”

Eli went from standing to prone in less than the blink of an eye, with body perpendicular to the floor and her hands forming a triangle from her extended arms on the floor.

“I am so sorry for what happened to Honoka. I swear to you I had no involvement in it and I am hunting for those that hurt her.”

The silence in the room could be cut with whisper. Honoka’s mother spoke, the voice quivering.

“And what will you do when you’ve found them? Will you beat them down like they did my daughter?”  
“No. Honoka doesn’t want that. I will deliver them to the school principal. I’m no judge or executioner. I’m sorry.”

Silence once again permeated the room.

“Eli-chan. Please get up.” Honoka’s mother said.

Eli stood slowly. She could see the tears in the woman’s eyes. She walked until she stood in front of Eli.

_I will take it. I deserve it. I’m responsible._

Eli’s surprise was clear for everyone to see when, instead of hitting her, Honoka’s mother embraced her like a long-lost friend. Eli couldn’t move, everything causing a short-cirtuit.

“Thank you. We always knew that it could never have been you.” her tears now falling.  
“But I… “ Eli began, tears filling her eyes, “if I hadn’t… I wasn’t running… she would never have gotten hurt… I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s not your fault. Honoka believes this, so I do too. And I don’t want revenge, neither does Honoka. But I guess she told you.”  
“Yes... how…?”  
“She said you’d come. That it was just something you’d do.”

Eli was released from the embrace.

“Besides, “Honoka’s mother continued, “We had Alisa here. She speaks very highly of you. Such a smart and honest young girl.”

She wiped her tears.

“We have to go back to the shop, but please stay a bit. Mother and Yukiho will probably want to talk to you some more.”

With that, the mother/husband combo left.

“I need to get some things in the kitchen, Yukiho-chan, could you make our guest comfortable?”  
“Of course Oba-chan.” Turning to Eli, “Please sit, I’ll get some tea.”  
“I really don’t want to intrude…” Eli stammered but stopped as Yukiho gestured.

_She wants something._

“Ehh… thank you. I can stay a little while.”

Eli sat down while Yukiho disappeared, probably to the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back with a tray with tea and some wagashi.

“Here.” Yukio sat down next to Eli.  
“Thank you, looks delicious” Eli said, uncertain.

After a few sips Yukiho spoke up.

“Can I ask you something, Eli-san?”  
“Of course.”  
“Does… ehh.. does Alisa ever talk about me?”

_So that’s it._

“Sometimes. She’s very fond of you.”  
“T—that ‘s… nice to hear.”

_Lets see…_

“And you?”  
“What?”  
“Are you fond of her?”  
“Ehh… yes… she’s sweet … and so warm. Her hair is so pretty and smells nice too.”

_Real close._

“You like her?”  
“She’s my best friend, of course I like her… Ehhh…yes.”

_So, it’s like that for her too._

“Why don’t you tell her?”  
“What?” a gasp filled the room.  
“Tell her how you feel, ask what she feels. She doesn’t tell me everything, but she doesn’t have to. As long as she is happy.”

Yukiho looked into her tea.

“Maybe… someday…”


	17. Scene and confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli's having second thoughts about the plan. The plan is executed.

“I’m home.” Alisa said from the hallway.

Silence.

_Sis should be home. Her stuff is here and she would have told me._

Alisa quickly changed into slippers and walked to the kitchen. Eli was standing at the stove, unmoving as a rock.

“Sis!” Alisa poked her big sister.  
“Bwaagh… _Alisa_ , don’t scare me like that. When did you get home?”  
“Ehh.. just _now_. You didn’t answer when I called.”  
“Ohh… right… sorry. Got a thing or two on my mind.”

Alisa eyed her sister. No scraped knuckles so no fights.

“Tell me over dinner? I’m starving.”  
“Dinner… right sure.”

* * *

“Thanks for the food!” Alisa said before she picked up her chopsticks and started to eat.

Eli was still somewhere else.

“Sis? Don’t want to tell me about it?”  
“What? Huh.. nono, it’s not that. It’s just… complicated.”  
“Don’t tell me… you had your first lover spat with Nozomi!”  
“Alisa! Where did you even hear that? And no, we didn’t… but… it is Nozomi.”

“Alisa, would you say I’d do the right thing if I put someone in danger, just to find who beat up Yukiho’s sister?”  
“I don’t know… maybe? If they also want to find them.”  
“Them?”  
“Yukiho told me, she also said you came to their house, apologizing for something you didn’t do.”  
“Yeah… but if I wasn’t running…”  
“You didn’t do anything wrong sis. Yukiho says so, her mother says so. I believe that too.”

_You’re more mature than me sometimes sweet little sister._

“Thanks.” Eli reached out to hold her sister’s hand, “Nozomi cooked up a plan to catch them, but for that, the plan needs bait. Nozomi suggested the other victim and she agreed, feeling there is no other way. But it feels wrong. Nico is up in arms about it and I ... I... “  
“… fell like you’ve thrown her under the bus?”

_What an expression…_

“Yeah, just feels… wrong. She hasn’t gotten a chance in hell to defend herself, and she’s going to make a big scene about it, painting an even bigger target on her. And I can’t save her, I can’t be involved.”

Eli slammed her fists into the table. Alisa jumped

“It all so… frustrating.” Eli said out of tear-filled eyes.

Alisa reached out to touch her sister’s hands.

“Hey sis, It’s ok. It sucks just to watch. Can’t you do anything else?”  
“I can’t think of anything.”

They resumed eating. Eli picked at her food with disinterest.

“Sis?”  
“Mh?”  
“Maybe there is no other way?”  
“But Nozomi was so nonchalant about throwing her into danger.”  
“And that bothers you.”  
“What? No? Fumiko is going to get hurt again. I don’t want that to happen! It’s wrong.”  
“She volunteered, didn’t she? Then she knows the risk.”  
“But still… how can I ask anyone for that?”  
“Sis…”  
“How can I ask them to be their student council president if I willingly let a student be hurt?”  
“Sis… relax. She knows, she does this for you.”  
“For her friend more like…”  
“Her friend then. You’re more upset that Nozomi suggested it.”

_Am I? How can my amazing, wonderful girlfriend be so insensitive?_

“Maybe.” Eli sighed.

* * *

_*CRASH*_

Eli jumped up from her seat.

_Oh no. It’s started._

She crowded the door with her classmates, watching the scene unfold. Even though she knew it wasn’t real, it was difficult to watch. Fumiko was on the ground, another girl, her friend most like, stood over her.

“I can’t believe you’d say that! She’s perfect!” the girl screamed.  
“She beat up Mika! You can’t seriously still like her!” Fumiko replied.

Eli watched in shock as spit and slap was exchanged.

_I have to stop this… they can’t do this… not for me._

Eli chose to hold the other girl back, letting Fumiko act out the rest of their scene.

_If Fumiko’s eyes were guns, I’d be dead several times over, she’s almost selling me on hating me._

“Fuck you Ayase.” Fumiko growled, glaring at them then she ran off.

The other girl turned as Fumiko rounded a corner, looking, starstruck, at Eli.

“God you’re so strong... and pretty...” she muttered, slowly turned red than ran away in the opposite direction to Fumiko, turning up to the stairs.

_Fumiko is now in danger… and I need to talk to that girl too. Better follow her. Hideko. That’s her name…_

Eli darted off.

* * *

When Eli opened the door to the roof, a gust of wind almost took the door out of her hand. She managed to hold and to close it after her. No sign of Hideko, Eli was certain that she’d heard the door slam as she had tried to catch up with her.

Eli walked around the enclosed stairwell and found Hideko sitting on the ground, holding her legs, head in her knees. Eli sat down next to her.

“You going to be ok?”  
“Ayase-sama… I… I think so.” The girl’s head snapped up then looked away, embarrassed.  
“No need for formalities, I’m just Eli, ok?”  
“O—ok.”

They sat in silence.

_I need to say something._

“Hideko, the scene you did… if I hadn’t known, I would have believed it to be real. You’re really good.”  
“T—thank you Aya--… ehh _Eli_. I hope I didn’t hurt Fumiko with that slap.” She replied quietly.  
“It probably stung, but I think she was prepared for it. I’m impressed how you can do it. Even if it were pretend, I don’t think I could be so in control as you were.”  
“In drama we practice a lot, so that when were on the stage, it doesn’t get to us.”  
“I see.”

Another moment of silence passed.

“Hideko, can I tell you something?”  
“Of course. Anything.”  
“I have a little sister, Alisa. She’s in middle school now. It’s for her that I try to be strong so I can protect her. Our parents were… well… not good, so we moved here on our own.”  
“That must have been hard.”  
“Yeah. I got on the delinquent train and now, thanks to everyone here, I’ve gotten better. I mean… me sitting here… talking to you about myself and my life. I never even imagined this could be possible for me. But here I am, sharing something very personal with you. And I’m happy that I can do that.”  
“I… thank you.”  
“No. Thank you for listening,”

_I guess I have to come to the subject._

“You know, Fumiko told me what you wanted for doing the scene.”  
“I--- ehh… yes.” The girl blushed.  
“I could say that I’ve done my part and go and never talk to you again.” Hideko looked hurt, “But I’m not going to do that. Because of me, even it was pretend, you had to have a public fight with your friend. I will never forget that.”  
“Eli-san, I…”  
“What did I say?” Eli said gently, smiling at Hideko.  
“Eli… I… I… you’re so pretty… and so strong… and I know you care about us and that you’ll make an excellent president. But I…I…”

Hideko stood up.

“I like you. Will you accept my feelings and go out with me?” she bowed to Eli who’d also gotten up.

_I’m so sorry I can’t be what you want me to be. I’m... spoken for._

She walked closer to Hideko and gently raised her up.

“Hideko. I’m flattered, I really am. But I can’t be what you want me to be. I’m sorry.” Eli could feel the girl trying to break away, but Eli’s touch seemed to be enough to stop her.  
“I’m already…”  
“By Toujo-san… I know.” A hint of tear was visible.  
“Eh… yes… I… I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s… it’s ok… I knew already, but I had to try, to say what I feel.” Her voice was small.

Eli relied on her gut and embraced the other girl, feeling the small shakes of the body as the tears flowed. Eli gently stroked her hair, not letting Hideko go until she’d settled down.

“I can’t be your girlfriend, Hideko. But, if you’ll let me, I would like to be your friend. Please?”

Hideko looked in wonder at Eli.

“My f--- friend?”  
“Yes. Friends that talk to each other, hang out, go to cafés and that help each other. Will you allow me to be your friend?”  
“Of course. Yes. Ehh… Eli… can I… k--- ehh… kiss you? Just once?”  
“Kiss me? I think Nozomi would mind.”  
“Right… I understand…” Hideko looked disheartened.

_Poor girl. But there is something I can do_

  
“But tell you what, this…” Eli slowly kissed Hideko on the right cheek, then the left and finally the right cheek again. “is how we greet close friends and family where I come from.”

Hideko gingerly touched her cheeks, becoming red and smiling.

“Thank you.”  
“Your turn.”  
“Fueee?” Hideko shrieked.  
“You do it.” Eli said, pointing at her cheek.

 _I could feel her hands shaking. Her touch was so gentle, almost like she was afraid to damage me. This was probably the best way to solve this. She got to say her piece and I’ve made a new friend._ Eli thought as she descended the stairs to return to the classroom and Nozomi.


	18. Saki and Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter takes place between chapters "New Plan? Worth a shot" ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940837/chapters/62011603 ) and "Maybe I will"  
> Notes: ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940837/chapters/62939701) In "Love at first fight". 
> 
> It is highly recommended that you read up and including "New Plan? Worth a shot" to understand the context.

_Get close to Saki, get close to Saki… find out what she knows… argh.. I can’t be this dishonest…_

Eli approached Saki’s bench on their second to last break..

“Hey… eh.. Saki?”  
“Yeah… oh.. Eli.. hi.”

Eli looked at her feet.

“Could I talk to you… after school? Only if you’re not busy of course.”  
“Ehh sure. I’ll wait down by the shoe lockers. Ok?”  
“Fine fine… good”, Eli said quickly and left the classroom.

_Why the hell do I have such a hard time to talk to her…_

Eli walked quickly over the bathroom, splashed some water in her face and was back just in time for class. For the remaining classes, she didn’t really pay much attention. The nervousness of their common plan to oust the assaulters on her mind, she really didn’t want it to be Saki.

After school, after she’d seen off Nozomi to her planned detention and Nico with Akane, she found Saki waiting for her, as promised by the lockers.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”  
“I… ehh.” _Why was this so hard?_ “Would you like to get a parfait or coffee? There this really good place close by.”  
“Ok, sure, but…”  
“I... just somewhere else, ok?”

Saki shrugged.

“Fine.”

They walked the short distance, exchanging a few words about their homework and about school in general.  
When they sat down at the café and waiting Eli spoke up:

“Listen Saki…”  
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I mean… I’m honored that you’d think of me like that… but I can’t. You’re both super cool, but… ”  
“Ehh…excuse me?”  
“You were going to ask me to if I wanted to be the second girlfriend to you and Nozomi right?”  
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Eli was confused.  
“You hooked up with Nozomi right?”  
“Ehh... yeah? What has that…?”  
“And you want me to be _the slice in-between_ you two.”  
“What? No!”  
“For real? Shit, I thought that was why you’d looked at Nozomi and me while she was pointing at me during class today?”  
“But how… how did you come up with that? That’s not it at all…”

Saki blushed.

“Hehe… let’s just start over ok?” Sake said.  
“Ehh, right sure… ehh.”

Eli took a deep breath, trying to purge the inappropriate images from her mind.

“What I wanted to say was… thank you.”  
“Huh? For what?”  
“You were the first of the class to… well… treat me like a person and not like a thug… after…. well… what I pulled when I started.”

Saki looked at her with deer eyes.

“I… eh… feel kinda embarrassed… so I didn’t want to say it in school.” Eli concluded.

For a long while Saki just looked at her.

“To be honest…” she finally said, “I thought that you were just angry to be stuck with us with everyone just commenting on how you looked.”

Eli remembered, her hair and eye colour being the topic on rumours and conversations not including her.

“By the time people figured out it was rude, you’d already thrown in the lot with us. But we know better now… and I’m sorry about that.” Saki bowed., the raised her head again, a big smile on her face.

“How about we start over?” Sake asked.  
“Start over?”  
“Yeah like this: Hi, my name is Saki and I’d like to get to know you.”

Eli looked at her in disbelief.

“Ehh… hi.. my name is Eli, pleased to meet you. Can we be friends?”  
“Maybe that’s something I’d said in middle school, but it’s good, honest. I like that.”

Eli blushed.

“By the way… Eli… I heard what you did for Hideko.”  
“Oh?”  
“How you held on to her, so she could say her piece.”

_Technically it was after she’d say what she wanted. When she was crying and wanted to run._

“And that thing you did after, that Russian greeting thing?”  
“Yeah that. It’s how we greet and say goodbye to family and close friends in Russia.”  
“You made her feel special, despite having to reject her. I think that’s cool.”  
“Ehh... thank you… I think.”

Saki laughed.

“It’s good, trust me.”

Eli smiled.

“So,” Saki asked, “what do you want to know? Basics first? _Who is Saki_?”  
“I guess we can start there...”

“Maybe not my best topic but here goes… well you see, Saki is…”

* * *

A couple of hours later as they left the café, Eli was certain, it couldn’t be Saki. She was considerate and warm, it would be hard for a cloud to have a chance against her.

_At least I hope it isn’t her… please don’t be._


	19. for my sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a VERY short one to connect to the current state (as of this writing it is the chapter "Today?" in "Love at first fight")

**Nozomi** : It’s Sunako.

Eli stared in disbelief and relief at the LINE from Nozomi.

_Thank god, it’s not Saki… but Sunako, what the… I threatened to stab her. Why is she beating up those that are against my election? What’s her deal?_

Doubts were beginning to manifest in Eli’s mind. Had she missed something? Since when had Sunako had some kind of twisted crush on her. If it even was that at all? Or why? Just why was she doing this? And… who else was with her? They’d gone through all the others in their grade. Who else was there?  
Sunako had stayed in the background during their trip and kept away from Eli like the others. Saki had been the first to… but no, they only attacked people that were negatively disposed to Eli, not her friends.

 _I must keep a closer watch on Nico… she’s in danger… for my sake._


	20. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is set in motion.

**Saki** : Wth is going on with you, Nozomi and Nico?!??  
 **me** : It’s handled.  
 **Saki** : What does that mean??? ELI!!!  
 **me** : Everything is fine. See you in class.  
 **Saki** : Plz tell me,,,  
 **me** : trust Nozomi!

* * *

The lunch bell rang, Eli left the classroom without looking back, she was convinced that Sunako and Nozomi would stay behind, the rest of the class filing out, Nico leaving a fair bit after Eli.  
A few minutes later, Eli’s phone vibrated.

 **Nozomi** : Today

So, it was happening today. Eli quickly texted Nico and Kotori, asking if they could be in the Student Council room to plan. Kotori answered that _We’ll be there._ Who else was coming? More people meant more dangers of getting found out. Eli turned towards the council room, quickly turned around, saw nobody and slipped into the room.

“Honoka-san?” Eli said surprised, looking at the assembled group.  
“Eli-senpai. Nice to see you again.” Honoka said, jumping towards her on her crutches.  
“Please be careful. You got released already?”  
“Nah. I felt fine. So I talked them into letting me go home.”  
“But you’re…”  
“Home was boring too, so I came here. Got to go, you know?”

Eli looked at Kotori, who shrugged.

_Running away from hospital, that’s something new._

Nico entered, massaging her side.

“She shoved me… I know she didn’t mean it, but fuck… huh? Honoka-san? Why..?”  
“Don’t ask.” Eli said.

Kotori’s light voice pierced the room.

“Honoka-chan has an idea, and we have lunch time to make it work.” She looked over at her friend.  
“We give Nozomi-senpai and knife and she cuts Nico-senpai.” Honoka beamed.  
“What? Wait… No no nono no! No-one is cutting on Nico, her beautiful skin is to pure to be cut.”  
“Huh? Didn’t I say it will be fake?” Honoka asked, looking in panic from Nico to Eli, to Kotori and back at Nico.  
“Fake?”  
“Yeah, like this.” She exposed the underside of her left arm; a nasty cut ran across it.  
“ _Honoka-san_!” Eli jumped up and knelt by the first year, “Who did this?”  
“I did!” Honoka said smiling.

Eli looked at her in disbelief.

“Look.” She held her arm up to Kotori, who took a bite into the wound… leaving a smeared mess of colour and goo behind.  
“So sweet…”

Eli and Nico looked dumbfounded.

“It’s cake decoration. Didn’t you see that movie where he looked like a rock?”  
“Ehh.. no.. I don’t watch snuff stuff.” Nico said, steaming.  
“No, it’s an American movie… hmm what was it called.. bread tournaments? I can’t remember, I slept though half of it. Anyway, I have the stuff here so I can make a good looking wound for Nico-senpai, and I got some fake blood from our Halloween mix too.” She held up a bottle.  
“Nice… but.. ehh… one problem… Nozomi doesn’t have a knife… does she?” Nico looked at Eli.  
“Never. She’s afraid of what might happen if she did.”  
“No problem.” Kotori said, smiling, “Here.” And held up a scary looking knife that almost looked like a saw on one end.  
“I might regret this, but Kotori-san… where di you get that?”  
“From the café.” She kept smiling.  
“You are scary.” Nico said, “I hope Nozomi gives me the chance to explai…”

A message tone punctuated the conversation, a voice message from Nozomi.

 _… goes to the school idol club room …Yazawa and Eli aren’t getting along…should be alone…perfect…  
  
_ “My club room…” Nico shuddered.  
“If you give me the key, I can place it, the blood and the knife there when we’re done so you can put it on there and give Nozomi the knife.” Said Honoka, “just like a spy movie.”

Nico sat down opposite Honoka.

“Fine.” She said rolling up her sleeve, “Let’s get it done”

As Honoka was starting to build up the ridges, someone knocked hard on the council room door.

“Eli? Eli? Are you in there?”  
“Saki?”  
“Let me in, the door is locked. Eli I need to talk to you know.. Nozomi… I … just open!”

Eli hurried to the door, opening it and pulling Saki inside.

“Did anyone see you?”  
“What? No, everyone’s eating lunch… Eli… what’s going on? You don’t answer me, Nozomi doesn’t say anything... what’s going on? Are you and Nico…” her eyes fell on Nico who smiled and waved at her, “Nico? Eli? But you’re not… what’s going on?”  
“Saki.” Eli shook the girl gently to get her attention, “We’re handling it. Trust us.”  
“Funny, that’s what Nozomi wrote too.”  
“Huh?”

Saki took a crumpled piece of paper out of her blazer pocket. It said: _Plan. Trust me._ written in the slightly curved hand Nozomi wrote in.

“I’ll try to help… even if you don’t tell me. I don’t want this...”  
“Let’s tell her.” Nico said, “She might get in danger otherwise.”

_Saki…. Why are you so… so… so you…_

“Ok. Saki, sit down.”

They sat by Nico and the others, the fake wound beginning to look real.

“Nico will go to the Idol Research club room after class and wait for Nozomi. In the club room she will apply the fake wound that Honoka-san is making right now and will also give Nozomi a knife and fake blood to complete the illusion. Nico will have her phone on the whole time so we can record it and come to her aid, we’ll be a few rooms away. Then we catch all of them, and this will be over.”  
“You can help.” Said Kotori, “get everybody away from that section of the school on that floor, after classes, no one will ask if you wear one of these. “she held out an armband.

Saki took it and read the writing.

“Hall monitor? We have these?”  
“Used to. Not for a few years now, but no one knows that.”

Saki pocketed the armband. The rest of lunch they sat and watched as Honoka meticulously built up the wound, Kotori had some sandwiches extra and Eli ate her bento, feeling nervous about the rest of the classes.  
The lunch bell rang again, Nico gave Honoka her key and she and Eli left the council room with enough time between them and gong different paths to maintain the illusion. Classes passed slowly, Eli tried hard not to look back at Nozomi or forward towards Nico. Thankfully, she was never called out when she looked pained through the window.

* * *

When classes finished, Eli quickly left, not looking back. She quickly walked through the school, walking in the general direction of the idol study club room but turned away from it and opened a door down the hall and sat down in the dark.

_Waiting... great…_

The door opened again and Kotori sneaked in.

“Honoka-san?” Eli whispered.  
“I convinced her to go home.”

Eli’s phone vibrated. Nico.

Eli took the call, heard a lot of scraping, like the phone was being pushed somewhere. Nico’s voice came through.

_We got stuff planned. How good are you at improvising?_

This was probably directed at Nozomi.

_Good enough._

Eli felt uneasy when she heard her girlfriends voice. This was the world Nozomi didn’t want to be in any more.

_What the hell! What the fuck was that for?!_

_You know fucking why._

Eli began to feel panic rise in her, but also anger. Her two best friends where being forced to be all kinds of horrible to each other… for spectacle. Sure they basically had the others now, but Nozomi had to get them into the room to continue the plan. To get the confession.

_Come to join?_

_You stabbed her!_

_So?_

_We only ever hit a bit we didn’t.. we didn‘t do this! This is too escalated!_

Nozomi ‘s laughter sent shivers down Eli’s spine, she’d never heard the bloodlust so clear in Nozomi’s voice, as long as she didn’t lose herself to it.

_Excuse me? You four sent people to the hospital!_

_We never-No! We never hurt people as badly as this!_

_Bullshit! Kousaka was in the hospital! Do you know how people land there?! Heavy injuries!_

Eli could hear the fear and doubt seeping into the voices of the others, they probably didn’t really understand what was going on. How the people they hurt weren’t just bouncing back like on tv.

_You‘re just kids. Naive fucking children._

_But you? You really just lived out a power fantasy. With no regards to the future. You know what will happen now that she’s seen your faces right?_

_She knows your faces. She‘ll report all of us._

_Kill her._

Eli and Kotori both stood up. It was time, Nozomi had them.


	21. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter connects to https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940837/chapters/66129763 in Love at first fight

Eli heard a loud shriek as she hurried towards the club room.

_Oh no… I’m too late… Nozomi… don’t_

Coming around the corner Eli suddenly stopped. She saw the back of… what must be Kosaka. But Kotori had said that she had convinced her to go home… what was she playing at? Was she in danger?

“It’s not that bad right? You didn’t need surgery or anything right?” said a voice Eli didn’t recognize, obviously aimed at Kosaka.  
“Ah... I mean minor, but it’s fine.” Kosaka said, followed by a laugh.

Kosaka had gone into the room, leaving the door ajar. Eli crept closer, eager to hear the exchange but careful not to be seen. She had to trust that both Nozomi and Honoka knew what they were doing, and by what she heard they did. Nozomi had switched stances and Kosaka… Kosaka was doling out forgiveness and warmth at every turn. Eli really didn’t know what to make of her, faced with the people that put her in hospital, how could she be so cheery and forgiving. Gifting warmth without any regard for returns.

_Maybe if I met her when I started… things would have been different?_

Eli heard Sunako ask Kosaka: “How are you so optimistic?”

Another disarming laugh.

“Umi thinks it’s ‘cause I don’t think.”

Eli felt it was time to face them, she slipped into the room, with all eyes looking at Nico, no one noticed. Kosaka was sitting next to four girls, Sunako she recognized, the others were a first-year and two third-years. Nozomi was sitting next to Sunako.

“What about Yazawa?” said one of the first years.  
“Oh, she’s fine.” Eli said in a slightly louder voice than she needed in the small room.

“Yeah, look.”

Nico showed her wound, then smeared it.

“Honoka did do a good job though, looked pretty scary.”

Eli waited and sure enough when the shock of the fake wound had ceased, the four realized that _she_ was there.

“Eli!!!” they said in unison.

Nozomi grunted.

_Huh?_

“We’re so sorry we…”

Eli cut them off with a sigh, then crouched to see them in the eye.

“Yeah, I can imagine.”  
“We only wanted to help and…”  
“Hey” she interrupted them again, “no need to explain violence to me. I get it.” She shook her head, “Though I do suggest you ask the person what they want for help”  
“We’re sorry…”  
“Hey… it’s fine, we all make mistakes.”

Nozomi elbowed her lightly in the ribs.

_Right. Now is a good time._

“Okay fine, “she said in part to Nozomi, “it’s not fine, _but_ this is a moment to learn from.”

_I sound like their mother… yegh._

“How do we make it right though?” Sunako asked, eyes downcast.  
“I think you should ask your victims that.” _And prey they are not out for blood._

Eli glanced over at Kosaka, the girl catching the cue.

“I gathered them all upstairs.” Kosaka said, getting to her feet as fast as the crutches allowed, “Come on.” She opened the door.  
“Good luck” Nozomi said as they left.

_I hope it goes well, that forgiveness and penance is enough._

* * *

Several hours later, Eli was lying next to Nozomi, resting her head on Nozomi’s chest, feeling the motions of her girlfriend’s heavy breathing matching her own.  
Despite being naked and sweaty, she felt warm and for the first time in weeks, relaxed.

“I needed that.” Eli purred, placing a kiss on Nozomi.  
“You make it sound like you only have me as stress relief.” Nozomi teased, “I’ll let you know that when you l—”

Eli quickly placed her hand on Nozomi’s mouth.

“You’re impossible.” Eli playfully bit Nozomi.  
“Hey. Ouch. I call assault. I’m being gobbled up in my most exposed state.” Nozomi giggled.  
“Look, what I meant…”  
“I know, Eli… I feel the same. Real now.”  
“You really scared me, you know.”  
“Huh?”  
“In the club room, at first. You sounded so cold, so full of... hmm menace is probably the right word. It scared me.”  
“I became what I hate... I became my parents. Between Nico’s acting, Honoka’s fake wound and the knife that came from god knows where… fuck it, I don’t know. Maybe I would have pushed them down even further, then hauled them in front of the principal. But I stopped, helped along by grandmother Kosaka.”  
“She must have said something profound.”  
“No.” Nozomi leant forward to place a kiss on Eli’s head, “She just said _Be gentle_.”  
“That family…”  
“Makes you kinda jealous doesn’t it?”  
“A little. Hope they feel we didn’t let them down.”  
“I think Honoka might be upset with them otherwise.” Nozomi chuckled.  
“Probably---” A loud growl interrupted Eli.

Looks were exchanged and they laughed.

“Dinner? I’ll make it”, Eli said, rolling herself out of bed.  
“If you just get a bit closer…” Nozomi began.  
“Don’t finish that sentence if you want something to eat!” Eli threatened with a smile.

* * *

Nozomi’s phone buzzed as they were clearing off the table. She checked it.

“Hmm…”  
“What is it?” Eli asked.  
“It’s Sunako. Says she wants to talk to me and ask if she can come over.”  
“Here? She knows where you live?”  
“No, she’s asking for the address if it’s ok.”

Eli put down the last of the plates in the sink.

“So, what are you gonna tell her?”

Nozomi looked quizzingly around.

“I’ll text her my address.” Nozomi said, typing, “I doubt she’ll do anything. But you hide and if she attacks, you rescue me.”  
“Me? I’d probably have to stop you from putting her in hospital if she tries anything.”

The phone buzzed again.

“15 minutes. Maybe we should get dressed properly, just in case.”  
“You just want to oogle don’t you?”  
“Can you blame me?” Nozomi locked Eli in a hug, “Beautiful girlfriend like you… can’t get enough.”  
“Right back at you. Come on, I think most is… well everywhere.”

A little over fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. Eli slid into the bedroom, leaving the door ajar. She heard Nozomi opening the door.

“Nozomi-sama, may I come in?” Sunako asked  
“Sure… wait… _-sama_?” Nozomi answered, sounding confused at the honorific.

After a few moments, probably Sunako getting into the main room, Nozomi asked:  
“Can I get you some tea?” Nozomi asked in a friendly, inviting voice.

“I… I wanted to tell you what we’re going to do, what the... the… “Sunako said and pulled in a sniffle, “others said. But there is something I need to know… for myself… please.”  
“What is it?” Nozomi asked.  
“I understand that the entire thing with Nico-sama and the detention was a setup. That you befriended me to get find us. That it was fake. But I… I…” Nozomi could hear Sunako’s voice break, “could really use a friend right now. I feel so disgusted with myself and I don’t know what to do anymore. I... please…”

_Again, with the -sama._

Eli suddenly heard a mild thump, as if something had dropped on the floor.

“Please be my friend, I… I need… someone I can talk to, someone who gets me.”

Eli held her breath, what would Nozomi do?

“Get up.” Nozomi’s voice was cold.

_Oh no, she’s going to…_

"Hey hey, don’t go begging at people, value yourself a bit more than that. Ask or request instead, makes a heck of a difference in self image yknow?” 

Silence.

“And of course, I’ll be your friend.”

Eli could hear the soft sobs coming through the door crack, she also heard Nozomi’s quiet words of comfort.

“Come on, sit down. I’ll get some tea.”

Eli debated whether or not she should come out. She waited.

“Now tell me. What happened?”

Eli peeked carefully around the corner, Sunako was sitting, shoulders down, opposite of Nozomi at the little table. Eli could watch as long as Sunako didn’t turn around.

“When we got up there and saw everyone… I… I couldn’t take it anymore, I threw myself on the floor and begged them for forgiveness.”  
“Sunako, I …”  
“I know… no begging, but that was then. The others did the same. I told them I would accept any punishment and that I was sorry. I... then…Kosaka-sama…”

Eli stepped quietly out from the bedroom and stood behind Sunako.

“What did Kosaka-san do?”

Sunako froze, very slowly turning her head towards Eli with a terrified expression. Before Eli could say anything, she threw herself to the floor.

“Eli-sama. Please accept my apologies. It was never my intention to cause you any trouble.”

Eli looked to Nozomi. She shrugged. Eli knelt down and took hold of Sunako’s outstretched hands.

“Stand up. Enough of all this.” She said softly, “Tell me what Kosaka-san said, ok?”  
“She… I still can’t believe this… she pleaded for us. For us?!?... that had hurt her so bad… she…” Sunako’s voice was close to breaking, Eli could see tears forming in her eyes, “asked them to be lenient, to grant us forgiveness without any undue punishment.”

“I see, that’s Kosaka-san for you. I don’t get how she can be like this, but it’s like she can see the good in people.” Eli nodded.

“I couldn’t take it… she was so kind, and we didn’t deserve it. I had to do… something.”

Nozomi came around, joining Eli.

“What did you do?”  
“I… I stood up and walked up to them. I told them they could slap me as hard as they could for I wasn’t worthy of forgiveness… I had done wrong and I had to take responsibility.”

Nozomi nodded.

“What happened then?”  
“Fumiko, slapped me…. real hard.”  
“Were you angry?” Nozomi asked.  
“No... I was sad.”  
“And then?”  
“She… she…” Sunako looked down on the floor, small drops fell, “she hugged me… and told me all was forgiven. I… I told her… I wasn’t worth it. She kept hugging me. And when she started crying.. I couldn’t help myself, I did too…”

More sobs. Eli gently put her hand under Sunako’s chin and lifted up her head.

“I see. What happened then?”  
“When Fumiko let me go I went back to the floor. They said they’d tell us tomorrow, that they needed to talk and asked us to leave. Kosaka-sama stayed. Then I asked to see you, Nozomi-sama.”

“Sunako, “Nozomi said with a sigh, “you’ve got to stop with the _-sama_. We’re friends. Use my name or put a _chan_ on it. But not _-sama_. Ok?”  
“Yes Nozomi-sa--- ehh Nozomi…- _chan_.” A weak smile evident, “Thank you for listening to me. I’ll leave now. I… I need to think for a bit.”

Eli saw Nozomi escort Sunako to the door and saying something to her before she closed the door.

“What did you say to her?” Eli asked when Nozomi came back and flopped onto the sofa.  
“That if she want’s I’ll be there tomorrow when they are… well… judged. And one more thing.”  
“Oh?” Eli sat down next to Nozomi.  
“That I’m looking forward to us having lunch tomorrow.”  
“You are a kind soul.”, Eli lent towards Nozomi and kissed her.  
“Not really. I’m just worried she might do something stupid if there isn’t a promise of tomorrow.”  
“Think she’ll do that?”  
“I thought about it often enough.”  
“Not anymore?”  
“No.” Nozomi reached for Eli and pulled her onto the sofa, “Not anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pulled some statistics from Ao3 the other day... probably one of the more stupid things I've done... If you ever get the urge... don't.


	22. Campaign video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the beatings comes and Eli makes a video, something she hadn't planned.

Staying over at Nozomi’s did mean that Eli didn’t sleep much. How could she? With her hot girlfriend by her side, she forgot that any late bedroom antics would have to be payed for the next day. But she didn’t complain, she enjoyed it way too much. Even if meant dealing with a grumpy, not all there Nozomi the next morning who hardly spoke a word before she had espresso shot into her. Something that Eli, like a bad drug dealer, provided. She would have to get Nozomi to detox… all that caffeine wasn’t good for her.

Nico joined them on the last step to Otonokizaka, derailing their conversation on what Kosaka had thought up.

“You two look awake.” Nico commented, regarding them

 _If you only knew how much and how long…_ Eli thought

“Make fun of us all you want, I got laid yesterday and you didn’t.” Nozomi winked as she chucked down the last drops of the espresso in the can Eli had given her earlier.

Nico began to protest, Nozomi continued teasing as they made their way to their homeroom.

_Poor Nico, Nozomi is relentless. She has to come out of her shell, just find someone already._

Eli’s phone buzzed, a LINE message.

 **MagicBaker** : Please come to classroom 1-5 on the third floor. Come all three.

Eli showed the message to Nico and Nozomi.

“Let’s go then.”

The arrived at the door, feeling uneasy, there was something _odd_ about all this.

“Well, here goes nothing.” Said Nico and opened the door… to a court room, or a classroom make up to be one, complete with a judge’s elevated seat.

Nico was the first to get the power of speech back: “You’re fucking kidding me.”

Nozomi laughed.

Eli stared at Honoka: “Honoka, you can’t be serious.”

Honoka jumped down from her elevated desk, the books probably thanking her. She was holding a hammer and Umi Sonoda was putting down the last table.

“What?” Honoka asked.   
“Really Sonoda? Helping?” Nico asked.  
“Kotori asked me.” Sonoda smiled wryly.  
“And she can’t resist it when I ask.” Kotori said grinning sending a wink, that Umi completely missed.  
“I… I’ll be honest, this is not what I expected.” Said the voice of Sunako behind them.  
“Yeah nobody did” Eli tried to laugh; it didn’t work well.

Nozomi walked over to Honoka and after a brief exchange, ushered her away, tried to give the hammer to Eli, who refused and then kept it herself. She was the judge now.

Slowly all the affected gathered, victims and perpetrators alike. Nozomi banged the handle onto the desk.

““If we’re gonna do this, let’s do it correctly, I guess. You know what side you’re on, get in a group and sit down.”

The two groups sat down.

“Okay, now that that’s that, pick a person to represent you.”

Everyone looked confused. Nico stepped up, a low sigh escaping: “I’ll do victims.”

“I’ll do perpetrators.” Said Eli.

_They did this for me, misdirected. This way, maybe I can finally steer them the right way again._

“I’ll be honest I’m unsure of today’s purpose.” Asked Nozomi, a few laughed.  
“I think it’s just to get everything in order to be honest.” Sonoda said, leaning against a wall, “For instance,” her glare bore through Eli’d group, “What have you learned?”

Sunako stood up, acting as a representative.

“That it was wrong.”  
“Oh really.” Nico scoffed.  
“That we should never have gone down that road.” the third year said.  
“That we..” Sunako sighed, “We acted on our emotions. We didn’t think of the consequences of our actions. We were disconnected from reality.”

 _She means it_.

“We recognize that we hurt you. Badly.” A first year spoke up, “And we’re.. we’re all really sorry.”

_They are ashamed, I can hear their voices quiver. They are trying not to cry as to be taken seriously._

“We understand that even if we made up yesterday, it may take a long time for you to get over this.. and we don’t blame you if you cut us off. But we need you to know that we’ll do our best to make this up!” Sunako sniffled a bit, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

A small silence fell on the group, heads downcast.

“What do you have to say?” Eli asked the victims, and in extension Nico.

Nico turned around, caught Honoka’s eye and asked: “Well?”

“We talked about this yesterday on our own.” Honoka smiled kindly, “And honestly, we get it.” She laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah I mean, I obsess really quickly. In the right circumstances, we’d be switched.” Fumiko interjected.

Honoka continued:

“Sure it was overboard but.. well we can’t do a cycle of revenge, that helps nobody.”, She scratched her head, “Besides it helps that you don’t actually hate us. Like it would have been a different story if you had beat me up for being into girls.”

_Yeah, that would… hey.. what did she just say???_

“No! We’d never!” Sunako immediately defended herself, “None of us would ever-“

“Hey I know.” Honoka nodded, “I wouldn’t have felt comfortable mentioning it otherwise.”

_So I did hear that right…_

Eli’s inner watch was ticking, classes were about to start.

Nozomi closed the court with: ““Oh fine, meeting adjourned, everyone is forgiven, we live and learn.”

Eli laughed and said: “Live, laugh, love.”  
“That’s such a straight thing to say.” Nico teased.

_Oh no, you didn’t._

“Say that again, I dare you.” Eli said, cracking her knuckles.  
“Or what? You’ll stand trial, you know.”  
“I’ll win.”  
“What? On what gounds? That you’re the new president?”  
“I... I’m not.”

Nico grinned.

“Want to be? I’ve got the perfect idea.”  
“Ok….” Eli was certain she would regret this.  
“Meet me in the club room at lunch.”

* * *

Eli knocked on the door of the Idol research club. A strong light shone through the curtains.

“Come in, Eli.” She heard Nico call from the inside. She opened the door and was met with glaring light.  
“Nico, what the…”

Nico pointed at a chair.

“Sit down!”

Eli did, more out of wonder than obedience.

“Nico? What...?”  
“We’re filming your campaign address.”

This took a few seconds to sink in.

“Ehh? Address? What are you on about?”  
“Student council, the beatdowns, your innocence all of it… but first! Smile!” Nico whipped out a small digital camera and snapped a picture as Eli was sitting rigid with a small smile.  
“Perfect.” She tapped a few things on her phone and looked back at Eli.  
“That should be done be the time we’re done.”  
“Nico?”  
“Campaign poster! With a T _otally innocent_ heading.”  
“Nico…”  
“And a QR code for the video we’re making.”  
“Nico, we can’t…”  
“We are, and we will. So, stop whining and let’s do this. We don’t have that much time. We’ll have three sections, an explanation, the background and your way forward”

Nico positioned herself next to the camera, it looked expensive.

“Just talk as you would if you did a normal speech. Oh and we only have time to do this once.”  
“But Nico…”  
“And we’re rolling in 3..2..1” the red indicator on the camera lit up.

_What do I say…_

Eli thought of the girls, both those that had gotten beaten up and the beaters, the court, the downcast expressions. In a way, everything had started with her, so she had to do this right.

“I’m Eli Ayase and I’m running for Student council president at Otonokizaka.

So, you’ve probably all been wondering what’s been happening. We divided this video into sections, so skip to the part you want to hear. Explanation, background and moving forward.

First of all, as you probably know, some members of the student body were attacked for having expressed opinions about me running for president. Some even ended up in hospital. I was questioned by the teachers and many students also expressed their shock. An investigation was launched, and I was kept out of the loop on the specifics as much as possible, but I couldn’t just stand by as students were getting beaten just for not liking me. Since members of my own class also were suspect, those were investigated further, with myself also active as a proxy bait. The individuals were found out and in a confrontation with their victims, forgiveness was given. The guilty ones are aware that they have destroyed much of the reputation they had and they accept the consequences of their actions.

As one of the victims said, you probably know who, a cycle of revenge helps nobody. No matter how this election goes, I ask you all that you don’t exact any kind of payback on these students, be they your grade mates, upper-class men or lower-class men. Since all this happened in my name, I also personally take part in that responsibility. Strange for me to say, but violence is never the first answer you should reach for.

Many of you probably know of my less than perfect past here at Otonokizaka. I was labelled a delinquent quite early in coming here, a name I wore with pride for it was the only thing I had that was my own and that made the anger I held in into something real.

You might not know that I have a little sister and that I hope that she’ll go to this school in the future. We live alone here in Tokyo, our parent’s strangers that we don’t want to deal with. From that, you probably get why. During the past year, several of my classmates took an active interest in me, and the class trip gave me a chance to get closer and to learn about you all. And I discovered that I didn’t have to be angry and abusive to be respected. I could be more me. I’m not perfect, far from it. But with everyone’s help, I’m learning.

For the future, I want to help the students and clubs of this school grow and blossom. I’ve seen first-hand what some of you do and I’m amazed. I want to support you, be an ear and a way to talk with the teachers, staff and the chairwoman. I want there to be a bigger and wider support network at out school so that events like the one I talked about don’t happen again, so that everyone has a voice but that not agreeing is ok and that conversion and conviction comes from dialogue, not fists.”

She stood up; Nico franticly adjusted the camera.

“I ask you all humbly for your support.” She bowed, stayed this way a few seconds then came and gave a small smile and a wink to the camera.

The red light turned off. Nico looked pleased-

“Perfect. Let’s eat, while Nico fixes this up.”

Eli ate listening to Nico either munching down on her food, humming excitedly or throwing curses and the computer, probably for it being slow.

“There… uploaded and…” she checked her phone, “the rest will be done by day’s end.”

_Oh Nico.. what have you done…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing time is precious these days. With several things running in parallel and new RL responsibilities, but updates will be less frequent, but they will come. 
> 
> I do ask for your patience.


End file.
